Talley Baby

Peek-A-Boo 2

2011-10-21T15:12:00.004-04:00

The other morning I found myself doing something which for me, epitomizes motherhood and the mixed-up feelings I have whenever I spend too much time with my kids.

Chris had been on a business trip for a few days, and I was having breakfast with the kids. Sort of. They were actually doing the eating. Sort of. I was spoon-feeding Andrew and, as usual, he started getting distracted and turning his head away from me, and he hadn't even eaten half his meal. He had to eat more. Toys and singing were not doing the trick.

I needed to play peek-a-boo.

But the problem was, I didn't have two free hands for peek-a-boo. So I grabbed the nearest thing, a dishtowel, which I later realized was a dirty dishtowel, and put it on my head over my face. I used one free hand to feed Andrew and the other to pick up the towel every few seconds and say peek-a-boo. Andrew ate it up. I heard Eli giggle and looked over and to my surprise, he was eating it up, too!

And then it hit me, here I am, with a dirty dishtowel on my head, trying to feed my children and entertain them at the same time, while my bagel sits idly by, getting cold and feeling quite lonely, and my orange juice cup is still full, as it almost always is even when breakfast is over. What am I doing? Shouldn't a grown woman be able to eat her breakfast in peace, at least once in a while?

But I was enjoying it, mostly. And the kids were too. And there is always a little voice in my head telling me that, someday soon, these very same kids would be extremely embarrassed to see their mom with a dishtowel on her head during breakfast.

And honestly, a small part of me yearns for those days. But I try to suppress that part of me and live in the moment and love every single moment of every single stage.

But I tell you, when my husband is gone for a week and a half, and I am the sole caretaker 24/7, it is hard. And fun. And hard. And that's what I'm talking about.

New look

2011-08-06T09:36:00.002-04:00

Welcome visitors! It has been a while since I posted, obviously! On Facebook, I have been trying to post a picture a day of both Andrew and Eli, and thanks to my bestie Susan Wenner Jackson, I think we have figured out how to share those photos with my loyal non-Facebook using blog followers. Click on the photo links at the top of the page and see if that takes you to some photos. And thanks for checking in!

Welcome Andrew Lee Talley!

2011-02-15T11:28:00.005-05:00

Born 2/13/2011

Posted lots of pics on our Shutterfly site, click here.

He was born 2 hours after we arrived at the hospital, needless to say it was pretty quick. Then we were released 27 hours later! Me and Andrew are both feeling good, and Chris and Eli are adjusting well so far.

Pre-labor jitters...

2011-02-03T17:49:00.004-05:00

At the end of your pregnancy you get the same questions a lot: "Are you excited?" and "Are you ready?" *Sigh* Where do I start? I am as ready as I'm gonna be. Equipment-wise we are ready. Nursery is ready. I am ready to get my body back and not be pregnant any more. I am ready to meet my new bundle of joy.

However, I think it would be naive/insincere to say I am excited. I know what I am in for. I am in for some pain. I am in for lots of sleepless nights, then playing with Eli all day AND trying to take care of a newborn. I am in for Eli going through an adjustment period.

Most of all, I think Chris, Eli, and I would just say, "let's get this show on the road". Enough waiting for our family of three to become a family of four. Let's do it.

Postpartum addition: Many of these fears were unfounded. Labor, while painful, was no where near as bad as last time, and postpartum I feel great! So happy to have our little baby, sleepless nights are no problem so far and Chris has been great with Eli, and Eli has been great with Andrew. I'm nervous about when he goes back to work, but we'll make it.

Finally potty training

2011-01-06T22:55:00.002-05:00

Okay, so last time we tried potty training, in November, we had several accidents in a day and reverted to pull-ups. Four days ago we tried it again, and although my nerves were frazzled from expecting an accident every five minutes, Chris pointed out at the end of the day that Eli had only had one accident. He wore underwear to school the next day and...no accidents! Day four, no accidents! I guess he's finally ready. With one month to spare before baby #2. Then we have a bunch more diapers to look forward to, and perfect timing for Eli to regress, which I hear happens a lot. Oh well, it's progress at least.

Speaking of baby #2, we have a few names we like, and are feeling them out. Which do you like?

Andrew
Evan
Cameron

Up until last week, we had no names, now it seems we like a new one every day. We may have a new one tomorrow! Stay tuned! =)

Two Years

2010-11-29T16:33:00.004-05:00

Mom has been gone for two years now. It is as hard to believe that she is gone as it was the day she died. I still can't wrap my head around it. She was the central personality in our immediate family and, to me at least, in our extended families. Holidays and gatherings still feel empty without her. They always will. She would have been happier than anyone at our Thanksgiving celebration on Friday about the five babies age two and under. Mom used to dream about the day we'd have a lot of kids at our parties. It is here, and she missed it altogether. There was no better gift-giver, and no one I enjoyed shopping for so much. I always wanted to match her talent for finding the perfect gift. I miss sitting on the couch and watching tennis with her, shopping with her, cooking with her, and waking up to her french toast. I wish we could enjoy Eli together and talk about motherhood and what I was like as a baby/toddler. I thought I was prepared to miss her. But the hole she left in my life takes me by surprise every day. I guess that's the down side to being so much to so many people. The hole.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

2010-11-12T21:55:00.002-05:00

This is a big week for us. We have started the process of potty training and are planning to move Eli into a big bed tomorrow night. I never planned to make two big changes at the same time, but he suddenly seemed ready for both, or maybe I'm the one who's ready. I can't guarantee that we won't all freak out and revert to diapers and the crib by next week, but we're trying. Wish us luck!

My Little Baby Duck

2010-11-02T13:47:00.002-04:00

It seems like some kids are in to being "big kids" but Eli is not one of those kids. He's going through a phase where he loves for me to sing "Rock-a-bye Baby" to him. He still eats in a high chair and sleeps in a crib. He's even been referring to himself as "baby" sometimes. I think this has something to do with the anticipation of his baby brother and him sensing that he won't be the baby for long. I am afraid about what this might forebode for when the baby is actually here.

He's also a bit of a baby on the playground. If another kid, especially if it's an older boy, tries to take something from him, he hands it over. If he gets pushed or shoved, he cries and runs away. In a way I wish he would stand up for himself, but I also kind of love that he's still my innocent baby. And I am proud that he isn't the one doing the bullying.

Eli videos, old and new

2010-10-29T22:58:00.003-04:00

We just downloaded videos from the past two years, and I'm asking myself...how did Eli get from here...

To here?

Conversing

2010-10-05T22:32:00.003-04:00

Eli has a wonderful vocabulary, but for the longest time it seemed like he mostly repeated what other people said, or talked about what he was thinking about. He still does that when he's feeling lazy, or not really paying attention, or doesn't understand what was said. He used to be bad at answering questions with a response other than yes or no. But lately he has started to converse with us. It's most evident to me when I pick him up from preschool and he tells me what he did. This is something that I was not a part of, and he is telling me about it. It's hard to explain how weird and exciting that is. I mean, we spend almost every waking hour together, so he doesn't have a lot to tell me that I don't already know.

Today was fire safety day at preschool. The fire safety van came to school and apparently some firefighter(s) showed Eli's class how to stop, drop, and roll, and how to spray out a fire with a hose. I know all of this because Eli told me. Weird! The whole thing had quite an impact on him, I think more than any other experience he's ever had. He talked about it all day, and even showed us how to stop, drop, and roll. I wish I could have been there to see the whole class doing it.

Also, when I was driving him home I asked him if he had any friends in class. He said "yes". I asked if he knew their names. He said "CJ". CJ! I happen to know this is the name of one of his classmates, but I don't know the kid. Eli was invited to CJ's birthday party. Now, it's possible that he knows CJ's name because CJ gets in trouble a lot. But still, it made my heart glow that Eli was able to name a friend...one that I didn't know.

Going to try to write more, I promise!

2010-09-27T11:36:00.002-04:00

I've decided to make this more of a "Mommy Blog" and less about our family in particular. That means more writing about the trials, tribulations, and joys of being a mom. But before I get to that, I have some Talley business to attend to.

In case you haven't heard by now, and I'm not sure if anyone checks this blog anymore, much less anyone who doesn't already know this information, (please send me a comment if that is you) I am having another baby, he is due in February, and yes, he is a boy.

To be honest, I really wanted a girl. But the way Eli keeps talking about his "Baby Butter" (translation: Baby Brother) he is getting me excited too. And at least I still won't have girl hair to deal with, and maybe a little less pre-teen angst when the time comes. And yes, they can play together. They can play with their cars and trucks and spiderman and swords and leave me bewildered but trying to keep up. At least I like sports.

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer

2010-09-20T15:21:00.002-04:00

I am walking in Making Strides Against Breast Cancer again this year. As many of you know, many women in my family have been affected by breast cancer. Although my mom died of kidney cancer, she was also diagnosed with breast cancer, along with her mother and sister, as well as her mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Fighting breast cancer is a cause that was close to my mom's heart and is close to mine, for the sake of my future, and the future of my younger family members. It is hard to ask people for money year after year, so this year I am offering a commemorative Linda Wimmers Christmas ornament as a thank-you to all of my supporters. No donation is too small. Order yours today by making a donation at my link below. Thanks!

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11SouthAtlantic?px=13016818&pg=personal&fr_id=28172

The American Cancer Society:

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/Making...

60

2010-05-21T14:10:00.002-04:00

Today would be my mom's 60th birthday. Should be. Is. I know parents who have lost a child often wonder what their children would be like as they grow older. Thinking of her at 60 has made me wonder what she would have been like as she got older. Would she be any slower on the tennis court? Would she have more wrinkles? Would she ever let her hair go gray? Would she start dressing like she was 60 (instead of the perpetual 35 she seemed to be?) My mom never seemed as old as she was, so it is very hard to imagine her really getting old. Her heart was youthful, no matter her age. Much like my Grandma Wimmers. I can picture her being a lot like my Grandma Wimmers if she had gotten to grow old. She would have fallen right in love with her new role as Grandma.

I wonder what kind of party we would have had today. Maybe I would have missed it, as I missed her 50th. Until she got cancer I took those types of things for granted. Maybe she would have spent it at the beach with me and Eli. Maybe we would have taken a trip somewhere. I will never know. I just know that whatever it is we would have done, I wish we were doing it. So much.

Racecar

2010-04-26T14:47:00.003-04:00

As an introvert, I have my share of misunderstandings with people. They misunderstand something I've said or done, or more often, something I've NOT said or done to be intentionally mean or spiteful, when really I was just being my shy self. It is hard to get along in this world of hidden meanings, body language, eye contact, etc. without the occasional offense here and there. (My mom, the quintesential extrovert, seemed to never have this problem.)

Eli seems to be an extrovert. He loves people. He, like his grandma, has never met a stranger. But today he experienced his first rejection, or "misunderstanding" and I wanted to cry from the unfairness of it all.

We were at the playground, and Eli spotted a little girl that he took a liking to. He walked right up to the girl and said, "racecar!" which is his icebreaker, his go-to line. I guess he thinks everyone loves racecars as much as he does. The girl just looked at him funny.

He repeated "racecar!", getting closer and closer each time he said it, maybe thinking the girl hadn't heard him. Finally the girl ran away.

My son, who never wants to leave the playground, who loves to play until he's forced to leave, walked by me to the parking lot and dejectedly said "home". My heart fell to pieces. He kept walking and said "car", trying to find our car.

I convinced him to stay, and reminded him of all his friends who he could play with who were there. I think he got over it quickly, but I didn't. It wasn't the first time he had tried to make a new friend and been rejected. But it was the first time that I know of that HE knew he had been rejected, and that he had his feelings hurt.

It was the first time of many in his life when he will be rejected, misunderstood, ignored, and have hurt feelings. This is life. I knew it would happen. But seeing the first time, and the loss of innocence that goes along with it, was almost too much for me to bear. Eli learned today that he can't just be himself and expect everyone to instantly like him. I wish it wasn't so.

The House

2010-03-22T23:40:00.003-04:00

We finally bought a house. Not just "a" house, but "the" house. The day after we received an offer on our house, my friend took me to see this house in her neighborhood that she said was "under foreclosure". Ever since that fateful day of October 6, 2009, I have known that this was the house for us. I had a long list of demands for the perfect house (just ask our agent), and this house has it all. It is actually the only one in Wilmington that has it all. Trust me, I've looked. Namely:

-I preferred the Parsley Elementary school district, the best in town.
-Had to be in a neighborhood with a pool and tennis courts. This one has them across the street.
-Had to be in a family friendly neighborhood. Have not seen one that matches this one. It's even gated.
-Centrally located in Wilmington.
-Open floor plan: check.
-This house easily meets our square footage requirement, and then some.
-Not on my list, but an added bonus is that this house was custom built and designed, so it's very unique.
-Large, fenced-in backyard.

The very first day I went in that house, I thought, "Mom would love this house". Ever since then, I have felt that she has been watching out for us during this whole process because throughout our search I felt like there was this other voice in my head telling me the right thing to do, from going to the see the house on the first day, to getting out of the contract for the house I didn't love, to buying the house at auction rather than waiting for it to go to market. Although we had to wait longer than we would have liked for the house to finally go up for sale, the pieces eventually have fallen into place beautifully for us to buy this house.

I will write more later about the foreclosure process, but right now I just wanted to write about the house and post some pictures. Please check out the pictures at our photo site here. The files are too large to upload to blogger--sorry for the extra click.

Tennis Racket

2010-02-05T15:41:00.001-05:00

I forgot to mention that the tennis racket that was the star of the previous post was given to us by our extremely generous and gracious neighbors on Trestle Drive, the Soonthornsawads. Thanks guys! We are getting much use out of it!

What a Sport

2010-01-23T21:38:00.007-05:00

As many boys his age do, Eli loves sports. He loves them almost to the exclusion of everything else. Golf, basketball, volleyball, tennis; all of which he refers to with enthusiasm as "B Ball!"

I took him to the park last weekend to play on the playground. There were tennis courts very near the playground. He wanted nothing to do with the playground. He would rather sit outside the fence and watch strangers play tennis. He even tried to pick up some game by following people as they exited the courts, trying to steal the rackets from their bags. Eventually I just took him home and then to the courts in our neighborhood to hit some balls. He had a blast, and was actually able to hit some balls bouncing towards him.

Of course, after he got his fill of tennis he proved that he's a regular kid who also likes to hunt for rocks.

Merry Bohemian Christmas

2009-12-12T21:43:00.003-05:00

Eli loved sitting on Santa's lap tonight. He walked right up, was happily handed over, smiled for the camera, and even said "cheese". We were so proud of him! Our only question is, what is up with Santa's head band?

We also enjoyed the little train ride around the outdoor mall, which was the reason for the trip. I have to admit, when we first saw the "Polar Express", which consisted of a tiny engine and 4 little two-seater cars, we thought, "We drove all the way here for this?" But we went anyway, because Eli's new word lately is "Shoo shoo" and we thought he'd like it, although I was a little worried about him sitting still for the 15-minute ride. I have to say, it BLEW HIS MIND. He was totally still and mesmerized the entire way. Oh, to be young and so easily impressed.

We also got to witness fake snow outside the movie theater. This is what we do in the south. It was like foam bubbles. It actually looked a lot like snow, but Eli kept saying "Bubbles!"

December Sucks

2009-12-03T18:11:00.004-05:00

I have pneumonia. As I was laid up today with nothing better to do while I'm quarantined from the rest of society, I started reflecting on the early Decembers of the recent past. Take a journey with me through the past five years...

2005: Grandma Wimmers passed away December 6.
2006: I had a miscarriage and an operation on December 4.
2007: Mom had terminal cancer.
2008: Mom's funeral December 2-3.
2009: Pneumonia December 1.

When you consider that track record, this has actually been a pretty good December so far.

I miss taking care of Eli terribly. Chris has been such a trooper, filling in for me, taking care of me, AND trying to get some of his own work done. One thing is for sure, I do not want to pass this on to either of them, so I am trying to keep my distance.

This is my third day on antibiotics and I seem to be making some slow progress. But not as quickly as I'm used to or as I was hoping to. I'm definitely ready to get out of bed and out of the house as soon as I can. And I'm so grateful that I don't live in the days before penicillin.

One Year

2009-11-28T21:11:00.003-05:00

It has been one year since my mom passed away. I did not believe that time would pass without her on earth, but here we are, and it looks like it has. Somehow, the world has kept spinning, the sun comes up and goes down every day, I wake up and I go to sleep every day. I don't know how the earth and I and my dad and Tony and all her other family and friends do it, but we do, and time has passed.

I want to write some things about my mom, to help us all remember her a little better. I have no plan for this, I am just going to keep writing until I can't write any more for now, or until, heaven forbid, I run out of memories. Read it if you want, this is as much for me as for anyone else. I apologize if it is hard to follow.

My mom loved sports. She loved games of any kind, as we all know, but maybe some people don't know what a sports fanatic she was. Watching a sporting event with her was just that--an event, whether it was college football on TV or the US Open in person. My mom and I went to the US (Tennis) Open together in 2005. We had always loved tennis before that trip, but during that trip, I think we both really fell in LOVE with watching it. We had tickets to 5 sessions over three days, and we did not take a break. We sat out in the blistering sun for 7 hours straight and then 5 more hours at night because we didn't want to miss anything. Even when we did not know the players (that could never happen now--we eventually knew all the pros' names at least) we would find a reason to sit through a match--it was a five setter, the guy next to us was into it, the crowd was into it, the players were cute, we had ice cream or wine to finish...whatever. This trip took place during the height of Roger Federer's dominance. We were both huge fans and were enthralled by his talent. One night all the rich court-side ticket holders left early and we were half-asleep in the third tier, where you can hardly see the ball, and we were given special tickets to go courtside. We vaguely knew the players, but one was American, so the new court-side crowd got into it. The match went the distance, with the American (Robby Ginepri for those tennis fans out there) winning in five sets. We were thrilled. We rode the train back to our hotel after 1 AM and took the above picture in the free hats they gave out at the stadium with our "golden ticket". I was a little scared of walking around New York after midnight but mom wasn't. She had an unending faith in humanity and refused to believe that another person might want to harm her. Her faith made me feel a little safer. During that trip to New York, we also saw the musical "Wicked" (more on musicals later), and visted Coney Island, where we rode a roller coaster, saw street performers, and got my picture with Spongebob. This trip happened on a whim--I remember saying to my mom in the summer that we should go to the US Open together that year, and she said "okay" and she made it happen. It's one of those things that most people, including myself, might put off for some time in the future, but if we had, it may have never happened. I am so glad we did go, it is one of my favorite trips with my mom.

As I mentioned, this trip sparked a LOVE for watching tennis that among everyone I know, only my mom shared with me. The following summer, while we watched Federer inexplicably lose to Rafael Nadal for a second time at the French Open, we simultaneously switched loyalties and became die-hard Rafa fans. My mom even flew me up to Cincinnati that summer so we could both see him play in Cincinnati. We spent a few more afternoons baking in the hot sun, but the definite highlight was seeing Rafa up close and personal on the small court 3 playing doubles. We were both in heaven.

We used to fill out brackets for the tennis majors like most people do for March Madness. She made me a Rafa collage as my prize for beating her in the bracket challenge for two years. We would call each other after every big Rafa match. But we had to be careful because we didn't know if the other had finished watching a recorded match yet, and we couldn't give away the ending.

I would love to go to the US Open again someday. In fact, I would love to see all four of the majors someday. I just don't know who I could go with who would sit with me in the hot sun for hours upon hours and just talk and watch. I miss calling her after matches. I still love tennis, but I don't think I LOVE it anymore. It just isn't the same.

Enough about tennis, more about sports in general: She always loved to have a reason to pull for a player or team. She would pull for Ohio State because Don and Ben loved them. She'd pull for UC because of David and Stacey. She'd even pull for Wisconsin just because Tony and Beth lived there; they weren't even fans. She'd pull for Carolina for Chris and Detroit for Beth. I think she mostly pulled for the Reds for Mike and Sue Burns. And of course she loved the Bengals. Especially after she got sick and couldn't do as much, she would get so excited when any one of the above teams was playing, and she'd make an event out of watching it. I'd even watch them when I was in Wilmington, just so I could talk to her on the phone about it the next day. After she passed, I felt piercingly how empty it was now to watch sports without her to share them with.

I also don't know anyone else who shares my love for musicals like my mom did. Among our favorites are Jesus Christ Superstar (which she took me and Susan and Erica to see in Columbus), Les Miserables (which we saw together on our first trip to NY), Tommy (we saw in Cincinnati), and Wicked (NY). She also loved Phantom of the Opera and Fiddler on the Roof, which I saw with her for the first time a few months before she died. Oh yeah, and the Sound of Music. During the spring of my Junior year in high school, my mom drove me to the two colleges I applied for, OU and UNC Wilmington. I remember the 12 hour drive down to NC, we just sang and sang to musical after musical in the car together. When we got to Wilmington, we drove right by the college and straight to the beach. As we looked out on the ocean filled with pelicans and surfers, we knew this college had to be better than OU. That was another thing my mom loved--the beach.

We were supposed to make that trip over spring break, but we got a lot of snow that week and we used that as an excuse to stay inside and play SET. Really, I think we could have made it to OU, but we didn't want to. I even postpone my interview to get into the Honors College at OU. We sure did play a lot of SET that week.

You all know how much my mom loved to travel. I spent a semester in College studying in Luxembourg, and my mom came out to visit for the first week of spring break. The two of us started out with a visit to Switzerland. We had breakfast on the top of a mountain, as her tour book recommended, and couldn't see a thing through the thick clouds up there. We picked up some bon bons before heading down on a train to Italy. On the train we met a very nice Tibetan monk who gave us both little Buddhas. We met up with Susan and Erica in a small coastal Italian town, Montossoro? The owner of the hotel where we stayed was a friendly man named Andrea who gives all his customers a bottle of his home-made wine before leaving. We happened to leave on Easter, and we enjoyed our wine and our Swiss bon-bons on the beach before leaving town. I remember my mom saying "it doesn't get any better than this". She was also so good at living in the moment and recognizing the good times. Anyway, we headed to the train station, boarded the train to Florence, broke out the Bailey's, and started wondering aloud if mom could somehow get a cheaper ticket. (The wine and Bailey's were doing their jobs by now). My mom decided to get off the train and see. As soon as she stepped off, the doors closed behind her and we were off. Erica said, "we lost your mom in Italy!" We didn't know what to do, so we got off at the next stop. My mom ended up catching the next train, beating us to Florence, and making friends with our new hotel owners. Big surprise.

When I turned 8 years old, I had a big slumber party. That was what we did for our birthdays back then--no renting out a place and spending loads of money--just slumber parties. The party started out great, and then for some reason, there was a rift. Half the girls would not speak to the other half. The rift carried on to the next morning and it almost ended that way, but at breakfast my mom had us all play a silly game of "what are you going to take on a picnic" and all was immediately forgiven. She didn't remember doing that, but she saved my party.

My mom was a great gift giver. She always knew the perfect gift for someone. And she would spend way more on a gift for someone else than she would spend on herself. It was just more worth it to her. I remember the first year we moved onto Trestle Drive, I was nine, and I wanted both a premie Cabbage Patch Kid and a giant version of my favorite stuffed animal, Randolph. My mom told me I could only have one, and that I had to pick which one I wanted. I spent the entire December trying to decide which one I wanted. I forget which one I chose--by the time I finally told her she had forgotten the whole thing. I got them both.

One night when I was quite young--five, maybe, I must have really been acting up, because my mom said, "You are such a pill!" It struck me because I didn't really know what that meant, but I knew it sounded bad. What strikes me about it now is that it's the only time that I can remember my mom saying anything slightly negative about me to me during my entire childhood. That is amazing. How she was able to keep her cool--she is my mom-model.

Well, I haven't run out of memories, but my hand is cramping, so I guess I'll have to wrap up. I wanted this post to be more than about my memories, though. My mom is a role model to me in so many ways. She was so "giving of herself". I will never know how she found the time to do all she did. She had such a full life--a job, a family, literally hundreds of friends, helping people in need, playing tennis, cleaning the house and putting food on the table--I can barely manage to do two of those things! But I think one of the best things about my mom is that she would never speak badly about another person, and she didn't want others to either. She always found the good in people. I think it's one of the ways she brought such positive energy to herself and those around her and was able to achieve so much. It's something we can all strive for.

I will save more memories for some other time. I would love to hear some of yours. Take as much room as you like. It feels good to share.

The year is over, but I miss her more each day.

The Talleys are Moving!

2009-11-12T13:53:00.004-05:00

In case anyone out there doesn't know yet, we are moving! Where, you might ask? The answer is somewhat complicated. We put our house on the market in September knowing that the average time that houses are on the market lately is 6 months. We wanted something bigger, in a more family-friendly neighborhood. Not that ours isn't friendly or safe, there just aren't many kids left in this aging neighborhood.

Much to our surprise, we went under contract 10 days after our house was listed. We even had competing offers! The offers were from first-time home-buyers looking to take advantage of the $8,000 credit, which at that time was set to run out Dec 1. Our agent assured us that there were so many houses on the market, we'd be sure to find at least 2 that we liked within a couple days. Little did she know who she was dealing with.

Turns out, my criteria makes our dream house a little hard to come by in Wilmington. All we want is a neighborhood with a pool and tennis court(s) and in walking distance to a park and a school, with a nice big house and yard, and friendly neighbors. To put it plainly, a combination of Fullerton Drive and Trestle Drive. We could afford such a house in Cincinnati or probably most parts of the country, but property in Wilmington is more expensive due to its proximity to the beach. Yes, I've been spoiled by living in great neighborhoods all my life, but I'm not going to compromise my dreams for Eli--we are waiting until we find the right place.

Next Wednesday we are moving to my parents' townhouse in Magnolia Greens. With the move and the anniversary of my mom's death coming up, and not a clue as to where we will finally settle, you may wonder, am I stressed? The answer is not complicated. Yes.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Chris broke his foot two weeks ago and is on crutches. He can't drive and he certainly can't move boxes...that's how he got hurt.

Happy Halloween!

2009-11-04T21:43:00.001-05:00

A Walk to Remember

2009-09-26T21:46:00.002-04:00

I'll be walking in the Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event on October 17 in downtown Wilmington in honor of my two grandmas, my two Aunt Mary Anne(s), and my mom, who have all been affected by breast cancer, as well as for my survivor friends, Mary Jean Wickemeier, TK Gausman, and Julie Evans. This is the first cancer-fighting fundraising event I will be participating in since my mom passed away. I plan to participate in many more, but honestly I think I needed a little break from cancer for a little while. So I'm back on the wagon, trying to do good. Feel free to support me by clicking below. Thanks!

Andrea's Making Strides Site

My Friends Visited Last Week...

2009-09-21T13:51:00.002-04:00

It was so windy at the beach!

Chowin down on some mac n' cheese

Cassie and I were on TV

Watching Cassie paint

Eli on the news

2009-09-03T20:24:00.003-04:00

Eli and I can't stay way from the news, it seems. Maybe there is just that little going on in Wilmington. Anyway, there was a story on the news tonight about Strollerstrides, and Eli and I were there. He's in one of the pink and brown strollers. Anyway, this video gives you an idea of what the class is all about. It's harder than it looks!

Tank Ou

2009-09-01T10:39:00.004-04:00

Last night we got Eli into the costume box and he really got a kick out of this kangaroo Hawaiian shirt that my good college friend Robyn bought for me at a thrift store because it was just perfect for me. Anyway, here he is playing peek-a-boo. And then at the end he says his new favorite words..."thank you".

He says this whenever someone gives him something. We are so lucky because I didn't really try hard to teach it to him, he just picked it up on his own. It sure makes him seem like a polite child. And we just beam and take all the credit.

He does give high-fives, he just wasn't into it on this occasion.

Peek-a-boo

2009-08-26T20:20:00.003-04:00

Me and Eli--we love going to parks. We love Sharon Woods in Cincinnati and we love Hugh McRae in Wilmington. We go there twice a week to do Stroller Strides, and after my exercise class, Eli plays on the playground with the other toddlers. It's been a great way to get some socialization for him, and a chance for me to talk to other moms.

But this one day a few weeks ago, the regular Stroller Strides moms left early and there were many people we didn't know, mostly grandmas and their grandchildren. While I pushed Eli on his swing I spoke to one of the grandmas, who was quite friendly, and she mentioned how she had another grandchild on the way. Then her pregnant daughter arrived. They chit-chatted about the work the daughter was having done to her house, and where they were going to go from there. This menial conversation, which I'm sure meant nothing to them, struck a chord in me. Their conversation was so easy. Nothing to work at. They can read each other's thoughts and feelings without even knowing it. Because it's not something you know about until it's not there anymore. And this woman and her mom--they cared about every menial detail in each other's lives. Because moms are starved for two things--time and information. Time to spend with their children (and grandchildren, if they should be so lucky) and information about them and their daily lives.

I couldn't help but think that where this woman is in her life, with a 2 year-old, another on the way, and a mom to share it all with, is where I should be right now if...if I hadn't lost my first baby and if I hadn't lost my mom.

This trio and all the other grandmas crawling around the playground were too much for me. I started to cry, but covered up my face so as not to make a scene. Eli started to laugh--he was preparing for what he thought was another fun game of peek-a-boo. I thought that was as good
idea--he is always good at bringing me back to earth. So I played peek-a-boo with him for a while on the swing, and then we departed the park. I had had enough peek-a-boo for that day.

Missing Mom

2009-08-18T00:05:00.004-04:00

I was just reading through my mom's blog from 2007. I remember how stressful it all was, finding out about the cancer returning, the small chance that IL2 had of working, finding out that we had to abandon the IL2 and that there would be no cure, worrying about the sutent working, many plane flights to and from Cincinnati...it all seems so long ago. And despite all that stress, what I wouldn't give to put my arms around my mom again. This picture, this day was so hard. It was the day I left my parents in the hospital in Boston after the first and only round of IL2. It was so hard watching mom suffer the side effects of that treatment, but I was so proud of her for how she handled it. I cannot tell you how bad she felt when this photo was taken, but she forced herself to get out of bed to hug me good-bye and even smile for the camera. If you blow the picture up you can see that our eyes are shiny from tears, but we are happy to be together. Lately I've dreamt a lot of my mom, but she's always sick and dying in the dreams. But it is ALWAYS wonderful to see her in a dream. How I wish that it had all been a dream. It still seems that way sometimes.

I don't know why I wanted to repost this picture, or write this post. I wasn't sure which blog to write it in. But I just want everyone to know how very much she is missed. I know that everyone who knew her misses her. Our lives will never be as rich because of her absence. I'm glad I have my little squirmy worm to make me smile.

Eli Coming Down the Aisle!

2009-08-16T20:39:00.003-04:00

Hi Everyone!

Here's a little clip from my cousin Eric's wedding where Eli was the ring-bearer (code name Frodo).

Motherhood

2009-08-04T21:33:00.002-04:00

My son is the smartest, cutest, tallest, funniest, most interesting, most agile, friendliest toddler at the playground. I'm sure all the other moms feel this way too--about Eli. ;)

Recent photos

2009-07-24T11:37:00.004-04:00

Ahoy, matey!

Finally feeding myself

Thanks, Auntie Pam!

Where'd that mustache go?

Aren't I precious?

Words Eli Can Say...

2009-07-23T20:57:00.003-04:00

Ba Ba (Bye Bye)
Ba! (Ball)
Da (Dad, Grandpa)
Ma (Mom)
Shoes (Self-explanatory)
Ga! (Cat)
Geee! (Keys)

We had his 1 year check-up today. He's doing great, and handled the shots like a champ. I just wish it didn't take 1 hour and 40 minutes! Why?!!!

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2009-07-16T22:19:00.002-04:00

I don't know if it's because I'm with Eli all day now, or because he's at the age when he is starting to understand a lot more, but I am learning a LOT every day about parenting. I am so much more involved in trying to teach Eli positive behaviors and wrestling the control away from him. It is a lot of work, but I'm so glad I'm getting a chance to do it. Seeing him a few hours a day like before, I wasn't doing much of that, and I wouldn't really call that parenting.

This week I've started taking advantage of the free day care at the gym, and Eli has been none too happy to be dropped off there, so I became determined to go every day and get him used to it. Every time I peak in, he's being held by one of the staff, which means he isn't happy playing on the floor. But I am going to go as often as possible and hopefully that will change. At least he didn't cry when I dropped him off today.

I also bought a membership to StrollerStrides--an exercise class for mommies and their stroller-children. I figured it would be a good way to meet some other moms and toddlers. Which means I have been working out twice a day. I eat whenever I get a chance, but if I keep up with this routine, there may not be much left of me =).

Anxiety Bites

2009-07-14T21:50:00.002-04:00

Today was the first day since I've been a SAHM that has been on the challenging side. Eli seems to be suffering from a severe case of separation anxiety. Every time I stand up, he starts freaking out, whining, crying, screaming, begging to be held. I can't even walk to the kitchen anymore, which he can see from the living room, without picking him up and taking him with me. I am trying to teach him about hand holding, but sometimes he just wants to be held. I almost lost my temper over it today, then I felt bad because he only feels this way because he loves me. I guess I just have to trust that this is a phase and it will be over someday. I just fear that by giving in to his anxiety, I'll be creating a momma's-boy-sissy-pants. Does anybody out there have any advice?

On a positive note, in case anyone's lost track: Eli's first birthday is this Saturday! We already had one birthday party for him in Cincinnati on July 4, and we're having one at our house on the 18th with a luau theme! (This is going to be confusing for me when I'm old and trying to remember Eli's first birthday--"I seem to remember having a party in Cincinnati and one in Wilmington. Which was which? What the hay, hand me my dentures, Chris".) We're WAY more excited than Eli is, but he'll have fun when the day comes. I am crossing my fingers for no rain--we have invited more people than we can fit in our house, and the forecast is calling for rain. Maybe I should rent a tent.

Eli's a model!

2009-06-30T16:48:00.004-04:00

He starred in this ad for a "Caught Reading" library photo contest. Maybe we could put him to work for us. =)

Friends

2009-06-30T15:44:00.003-04:00

I'm still loving it. I have visited a few friends lately who have two or more children. Some of them have had a three month old and a three year old. It seems incredibly hard. You can look in their eyes and see that they just don't have the energy to discipline the three year old, and are half-zombies from lack of sleep. These same parents don't have children who nap. I can't imagine. Eli naps twice a day every day and usually one nap is at least 2 hours. I'm lucky. But I keep asking myself, when is the right time to try for another? I guess every child is different, but 2 or 3 sure seems like a tough age to bring in another baby. But I don't have that many child-bearing years left so...

Yesterday was the 7-month anniversary of my mom's death. That is hard to believe. It still seems very impossible that she's not here, and I still find myself thinking about calling her and then I remember that I can't. Today I visited a childhood friend from Cincinnati who happens to now live in Wilmington. She asked how my parents were. That was very hard. She said that her mom remembers my mom as a good friend. Who doesn't? I told her that I learned from my mom that you can never have too many friends.

I want to pass along a link to another blog that I have become addicted to. It's www.thespohrsaremultiplying.com. The author had a child prematurely and did not know whether she would survive at the beginning. The little girl, Madeline, was a fighter, and she did survive, but had to use oxygen occassionally at night. One day a few months ago, the one-and-a-half-year-old's breathing became more difficult and she passed away unexpectedly. The author, Heather, writes almost every day very honestly about her grief. Reading this blog, I somewhat identify with her grief and at the same time I am reminded of how lucky I am to have Eli and I am reminded to stay in the present with him.

I am so glad I decided not to work. Eli and I are having so much fun, and I don't feel like I'm missing anything anymore. And I have even had chances to do a bit of cleaning.

Briefly while Eli's napping...

2009-06-22T10:59:00.002-04:00

And I'm taking care of things...

I'm loving staying at home so far. We've been pretty busy so far, going to Charlotte this past weekend for Eli's cousin-to-be's baby shower, and visiting with my dad here in Wilmington before that. Today we're just chillaxin and watching Wimbledon, thinking about all those times I watched Wimbledon with my mom. I wish she was here, but she'd be as disappointed as I am that Rafa's not playing. I'm glad she got to see him win last year.

Eli's walking now. He started almost 2 weeks ago with a few steps and now he hardly ever crawls. He is just so excited to be upright. I'll try to get Chris to post a video as evidence sometime soon.

My one regret with staying home is that Eli doesn't have kids to play with most of the day. But I'm working on that, trying to set up some play dates and such.

The Summer of Andrea and Eli

2009-06-11T21:14:00.003-04:00

I have great plans for this summer. I dream of taking Eli to the beach, Cincinnati, play groups, parks, pools, the Children's Museum, indoor play gyms, and friends' houses. I plan to go for walks in the mornings and BodyPump classes at the gym in the afternoons. I plan to take Eli to swim lessons, music lessons, and yoga lessons. I dream of napping on rainy afternoons, cooking, cleaning, and being on our own schedule.

But there's this nagging voice in my head that keeps reminding me of the "Summer of George". You remember--the Seinfeld episode where George gets a severence package from the Yankees which he figures will last him about three months, so he decides to take the summer off. He has grandiose plans for the summer, but he ends up wearing sweatpants all day and buying a recliner with a refridgerator built in.

I don't have a severence package, but I do have grand plans for my time off. I have to be very careful to have the summer of Andrea and Eli and not the summer of George.

Left a good job in the City...

2009-05-28T21:14:00.003-04:00

Working for the man every night and day
But I never lost a minute of sleep
Wondering 'bout the way things might have been...

Yes, it's true, after much deliberation, I have decided to leave my job of nine years and venture into full-time motherhood and wifehood. I have never really been happy since I went back to work in October; I always felt like I was missing out on too much. I kept working because it just seemed like too much of a commitment to quit. Leaving the security and the benefits of the City for the unknown was like jumping off a cliff.

But something kept tearing at me. The longer I stayed at work, the more often I thought about quitting. It got to where it was non-stop. Then I went to visit my family in Cincinnati with Eli over the past weekend. Over a long drive to Raleigh and then lots of conversations with my mom's and my wonderful friends, I decided it was time.

Since my mom passed, I have become keenly aware of how short life is and that I want to make the most of mine. I keep telling myself and everyone else who will listen that I can work any time, but I can never get these years back. I am so excited to start to live again, and to get to be Eli's one and only all day every day.

I know there will be times when I will get bored or tired of the stay-at-home-mom thing, but I expect there to be many more days and moments of love and fun. I might try to work part-time, but first I am going to just enjoy the summer; get Eli in swim lessons, travel more, go to the beach, and go for walks. My last day is June 17. Wish me luck!

Cousins

2009-05-10T11:07:00.002-04:00

Last weekend, Eli met his cousin Holt (who is the son of Chris' cousin Derik and his wife Bree). Holt is one year old, and he and Eli enjoyed playing together. I wish we lived closer to some of our cousins so we could do this more often! It was fun!

Life's a Beach

2009-05-09T18:06:00.007-04:00

Eli took his grandpa to the beach today. He showed grandpa how to play in the surf and sand and stroll along the strand.

Pushin Stuff!

2009-05-02T17:05:00.002-04:00

Here's Eli pushing a laundry basket around, which is actually the best toy on the market currently.

I wish every day could be like today (Sunday)

2009-03-29T21:51:00.002-04:00

Chris, Eli, and I went for a stroll at Hugh McRae Park and we pushed Eli in a swing! Eli was in a great mood today. I think he's happy to be over the funk we all had and he enjoyed the spring weather as much as we did! Here are some photos from the day.

We all had a very rough week, as we all came down with a stomach virus. But we made it through and we're (mostly) recovered.

Eli's crawling!

2009-03-02T17:12:00.003-05:00

This video was taken a couple of weeks ago, when Eli first started crawling on hands and knees. He's a crawling machine now, but at this time he made it a little ways before resorting to the army crawl. We have to really watch him closely now, but it's fun to see him getting around on his own.

Kidney Cancer video

2009-02-02T20:37:00.002-05:00

I made this video for a contest to promote awareness of kidney cancer and to keep my mom's memory alive. The more times the video is viewed, the better chance I have of winning the contest and spreading the word about my mom even further. So view it as often as you please and forward it to your friends and family. Thanks!

Lots of New Developments...

2009-01-31T20:57:00.005-05:00

I realize it's been a while since we updated this. It's not that there hasn't been a lot to say, though. What's happened since we last wrote? Well...
1. It snowed in Wilmington! This happens once every two or three years, so we get pretty excited.
2. Eli is sitting up on his own. He still needs help getting into a sitting position, but he can stay there and if he falls he can brace himself.
3. Eli can get around using a one-arm-dragging crawl.
4. Eli out-grew his car seat and stroller. We bought a new car seat but we're still shopping for a jogging stroller.
5. Eli's baby bath moved out of the sink and into the bath tub. He splashes too much!
6. Eli has slept through the night 3 nights in a row! He now wakes up at 7:00 on the dot every morning. I had just been getting used to getting up with him. To be honest, I think I might actually miss it!
7. We updated the shutterfly site. Here are the best of the best...

Just in time

2009-01-18T11:31:00.006-05:00

Today is Eli's 6-month birthday, and since I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, I took this last opportunity to duplicate the photo above. And I think it's a good time to share these lyrics by Jack Johnson:

If I Could
A brand new baby was born yesterday
just in time
papa cried, baby cried
said your tears are like mine
I heard some words
from a friend on the phone
that didn't sound so good
The doctor gave him two weeks to live
I'd give him more if I could

You know that I would now
If only I could
You know that I would now
If only I could

Down the middle drops one more
grain of sand
They say that
new life makes losing life easier to understand
Words are kind
they helped ease the mind
of this, my old friend
And though you gotta go
we'll keep a piece of your soul
One goes out
One comes in

You know that I would now
If only I could
You know that I would now
If only I could

New Movie

2009-01-16T09:47:00.002-05:00

If you liked our earlier video of "bouncing Eli" and you are a fan of European rock and other weird stuff and you didn't already see it via Facebook, check out Chris' "EliRock" video on YouTube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PHKRtp5gFo. Hope you enjoy. Caution: bountiful bouncing baby footage!

Not feeling good

2009-01-11T14:41:00.002-05:00

For the first time in Eli's short life, he's not feeling so hot. Or rather, he is feeling hot. He has a low-grade fever, a runny nose, and a bad cough. It's likely just a cold, but we really don't like to see him feel bad! The worst part is doing the nasal drops/aspirator suction every time he eats or sleeps. He really doesn't like that, and our doctor's office strongly recommended it to prevent infection. He probably thinks we're trying to torture him. I wish we could explain to him why we're doing it.

If there is a good side to this, it's that he's in the middle of a 3-hour nap right now, which has given me enough time to clean, work out, take a shower, eat lunch, start the laundry, and update the blog. I'm actually caught up on what I wanted to do today--except organize Eli's room. That will have to be done later.

More Photos

2009-01-04T17:22:00.006-05:00

Today...Eli looking thoughtful

Today...Eli with Grandma

Eli enjoying his new favorite bathtime toy

Going for a walk, dude.

Daddy, Eli, and Kairos (our newly adopted outdoor cat--he showed up right when we returned from Mom's funeral)

Eli and great-Grandma

Christmas morning!

Christmas Eve

The New Year

2009-01-02T21:58:00.002-05:00

Above are some of the photos taken of Eli in his first ever studio camera shoot. We thought he did a pretty good job for his first time. He was very tired by the end. All that forced smiling wore him out!

A couple things about the new year...I had resolved to stop swaddling Eli in 2009. I thought it was going to be hard, because he always seemed to wake up and cry whenever he got out of his swaddling blanket. But apparently, he had the same resolution I did, because at 12:30 AM on January 1, he broke out of his swaddle and refused to be swaddled again. We were shocked that he slept until 7 AM! And then last night he again refused to be swaddled, and he slept until 7:45, only waking up once at 4:30! He's very cute now, sleeping on his side and his belly even. So that wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it was going to be. I guess he just outgrew it, as everyone told us he would.

Also, I have been saying that I hope 2009 is better than the past couple of years, because I have had some pretty crappy years lately. But I realized on New Year's Day that this year can't possibly be better than last year because I had my mom for 11 months last year. So I can't hope for better, but I can hope for "different" and "happy". Eli is certainly a great source of joy, and since he has started laughing more and sleeping better, motherhood is just getting better and better. I only wish my mom was here to share it with me.

An Early Christmas Present

2008-12-22T21:02:00.002-05:00

We gave Eli and early Christmas present, and now we're giving one to you. We have never seen or heard him laugh this much. Hopefully you will enjoy it as much as we (and he) did. And thanks to everyone who suggested that we get a Johnny Jump Up. You were right!

Santa Claus and Christmas Hijinks!

2008-12-14T14:42:00.003-05:00

This was an action-packed Christmas weekend. Well...maybe not that action-packed, but we did try to relax this weekend, do some Christmas shopping, wrap some presents, and hang out. We also tortured Eli in various photo-ops, some of which you will see here.

I was giving him a ride around the house here.

Sunday morning, and Mom was maybe a little too excited to see Eli, though he appreciated it.

Eli took some time out of his busy day to read his new favorite book: The Night Before Christmas.

And here, Eli suddenly realizes why he was being forced to wear this goofy costume, and wonders how he didn't see this coming.

Guess How Much My Mom Loved Me

2008-12-07T19:39:00.003-05:00

My parents' friends from Canada, the Yeldon's, sent us an amazing package of gifts for Eli after he was born (at the time, we had never even met them). One of the books in the package was a book called "Guess How Much I Love You". It's a story about Little Nutbrown Hare trying to tell Big Nutbrown Hare how much he loved him, and no matter what Little Nutbrown Hare came up with, Big Nutbrown Hare would always out-do the little rabbit. Here's a sample excerpt:

"I love you as high as I can reach," said Little Nutbrown Hare.

"I love you as high as I can reach," said Big Nutbrown Hare. That is very high, thought Little Nutbrown Hare. I wish I had arms like that.

My mom read this book to Eli on one of her visits to Wilmington (seen here, along with the blanket she made for him). I never really got it before. Was the book saying that a child cannot possibly love her parents as much as they love her?
Then one night last week, a few days before my mom passed away, Tony and I were sitting on her bed on either side of her, sharing a special moment. I told her, "You are the best mom". She immediately shook her head as emphatically as she could and said "You are".

Now, we all know that I have big shoes to fill if I am to be as good a mom as she was. But she loved me so much that she believed that I already was. And she knew how important it was that I believe it--that I would be a better mom if I did. It was as if I had said, "I love you right up to the moon" and she said, "I love you right up to the moon--and back".

Since her passing, I have realized just how much my mom did over the past year to prepare me for this time. I am so thankful to have had her with me for my first four months of motherhood, and am thankful for all of our conversations over the past year. She gave me gifts every time we spoke, and continues to. I will do my best to live up to her words.

4-month checkup

2008-11-20T15:57:00.004-05:00

Eli had his 4-month checkup today. We are extremely grateful to be able to say that he is perfectly healthy. He is still above average for his height and weight and there was not one concern from the doctor. Mostly, I begged for tricks to get him to sleep through the night and the doctor said to tell him if I came up with anything. Not that Eli's bad--he always goes right back to sleep after eating--but he does wake up at least once or twice a night. I know parents who have a much harder time getting their babies to sleep. He's doing much better with the cereal now, too. Seeing him smile is saving my sanity right now, during this stressful time.

A First Attempt at Solid Food

2008-11-10T12:31:00.003-05:00

So it was decided that, since Eli was almost four months, we try out solid food, which was really cereal. And here is the glorious first attempt at it:

Ahoy! Halloween off the Starboard bow!

2008-11-02T09:12:00.004-05:00

And this be Elliot's first Halloween! Out of the roots and grass a pod snaked up and grabbed him!

Thus, Eli's costume came to be:

It will be years later that he will look back on this and thank us for the fun trick-or-treating. In the meantime:

Back to Work, part 2

2008-10-23T08:11:00.004-04:00

I'm writing this just because I hate going for too long without updating this blog, but unfortunately do not have much to report. I have been back at work for 2 weeks now. I think I'm over the hardest part, but you never know when the regret and doubts are going to creep back. I like being back at work. I love my job. I just wish I could take Eli with me. Or be in two places at once. But we have a great nanny who comes to our house and brings her son who is 6 weeks older than Eli. She is wonderful about entertaining and challenging him while keeping him happy.

I've had to change my breastfeeding schedule, as I now pump during the day at work and breastfeed at night. I think he's still a little confused, but he's getting used to it, as am I. Fortunately there is a lock on my office door so I can have lots of privacy!

I'm back to playing volleyball one night a week. It's frustrating to not be able to make my legs move as quickly as they used to--my head is there, but not my body. But if my teammates pass the ball right to me I can usually do something decent with it, and we've gotten off to a 5-1 start so I guess I'm not too much of a drain on the team. The hardest part is when we have late games (half the time) I get home around 11 PM and then have to shower, pump, etc. and it makes for a long Tuesday at work. This past Monday was the first time I had been awake past 10:30 since the week Eli was born!

Right now, I'm looking forward to a 3-day weekend next weekend, including dressing Eli up for Halloween and getting a visit from my parents! Can't wait! Enough rambling for now. That's what I'm up to. Maybe I can get Chris to post a poem or two.

Back to Work

2008-10-08T19:31:00.003-04:00

Enjoy this video that was taken on Eli's two-month birthday. He was just becoming aware of his hands and his ability to use them. We think it's pretty cute, but then we think everything he does is cute.

Tomorrow I go back to work. I am working half days Thursday and Friday, and start back full time on Monday. How do I feel about it? I'm devastated. It's purely selfish, as I know that Eli will be fine without me. I just hate to miss all the little moments that happen during the day. I also hate to give up the good sleep I usually get in the morning, as Chris usually lets me sleep in a bit. No longer.

Well, I've been lucky to have 12 weeks at home. I'll miss the freedom, but all good things must come to an end.

Are you ready for some football?

2008-09-21T12:21:00.006-04:00

We took this and other adorable photos of Eli in his Bengals jersey (given to us by our friends Becky and Tim Horejs) yesterday. Those and a few photos from the wedding yesterday can be seen at our photo site here.

Eli's namesake, Eli Manning, is actually playing against the Bengals today, so I guess it's an appropriate time to tell the story of the name, for those who haven't heard it. It's not that we love the Giants or the Mannings, but more that we hated the Patriots and Tom Brady last season. Before we knew the sex of the baby, we were discussing names and I said "What about Peyton for a girl?" Chris didn't want to name the baby after Peyton Manning, but said "How about Eli?" This was the day before the Superbowl. I said that if the Giants won the Superbowl, we would name the baby Eli. The Giants were about 20 to 1 underdogs for the Superbowl, since the Patriots were undefeated. Also, Eli was always the underachieving goofy younger brother. So the whole thing was really a joke.

But as we rejoiced as the clocked ticked the final seconds, I remembered our joke and I said, "I guess we have to name our child Eli". Still joking. But the more I told the story and the more we said the name Eli to each other, the more we liked it. We didn't want to use Elijah, so we decided Eli could be short for Elliot, which we also liked. And the rest is history.

Last night, Rae and Jeremy had a beautiful wedding on a pier on the Cape Fear River. We were very happy for them and enjoyed our first night out, hanging out with all of our volleyball friends.

First Shots

2008-09-19T12:27:00.003-04:00

Eli had his 2-month check up at the doctor today. He was weighed and measured; He weighs 12 pounds, 10 ounces and is 23.75 inches long. He's in the 75th percentile for weight and height, but in the 50th percentile for head circumference. His head doesn't look small for his body...we just hope this doesn't mean he's a pea-brain! But they said he's perfectly normal.

I think the shots were harder on Chris than Eli. I hope Chris doesn't transfer his fear of needles to our son. Don't get me wrong, he did cry and was very taken by surprise by the first shot, but the crying only lasted a minute. You can see from the picture, he got three shots in all. He's been doing a lot of eating and sleeping since, and he's been just a little crabby when awake.

Tomorrow night Grandma and Grandpa Talley will be babysitting while we are at a wedding. It will be our first night out without him. I'm anxious but excited.

Go with the "flow"

2008-09-18T14:39:00.002-04:00

We had an interesting night last night which tried our patience and reminded us that the best laid plans often go to waste.

We have lately been establishing a bedtime routine to help Eli go to sleep at night. It's pretty extensive, but it works. We go for a walk around the neighborhood from 7 to 7:30. When we get back, we either read to him or Chris plays guitar. At about 8 PM we give him a bath then put him in his pajamas, feed him one more time and rock him to sleep.

Last night, all was going very well. We were right on schedule. Eli was all clean and cozy in his Packers pajamas (a gift from Packer friend Warren) as you can see. He was nice and hungry and sleepy when I sat down to give him his last bottle for the night (I have been nursing during the day and bottle feeding breastmilk at night to give me a break). Chris had just sat down to serenade us while Eli ate. I put the bottle to his lips, and...the top came off and half the bottle spilled all over his chest! So much for the bath, so much for the peaceful transition into sleep.

Next thing we knew, he's screaming, we're scrambling to get his pajamas off and new ones on. After that, he was crying too much to really eat very much and he just fell asleep crying. We gave up, thinking that he would be up again around midnight to eat, rather than the blissfully late 4 AM we have been enjoying lately.

Much to our surprise, he didn't wake up until 5:30 and clocked his longest sleep yet...9 hours! Incredible and shocking. Maybe this spilled bottle thing should become part of our bedtime routine =).

I must note that I checked the bottle's temperature in the sink before giving it to him. I turned it over and let it drip on my wrist. The cap didn't come off or even spill then. How it went from tightly screwed to not is beyond me, but we will not be using that bottle again!

One more thing...Eli turned over for the first time today! He was on his belly and not happy about it and started kicking his legs. I saw some potential so I let him keep crying a little bit, and sure enough, he rolled over. On his 2 month birthday exactly!

Eli learned how to jump!

2008-09-15T21:22:00.002-04:00

Okay, not really. But you can see this and other photos on our photo site here. As you can see from the photos, Eli is more awake and alert every day. You may not be able to tell this, but he is growing fast! His 3-6 month clothing is getting snug already. His 2-month birthday is Thursday and we also go for his 2-month Dr. appointment this week. He seems mighty healthy!

TS Hanna spares all of Wilmington--except us!

2008-09-06T12:55:00.003-04:00

Yes, TS Hanna was pretty kind to Wilmington. She made landfall about 40 miles from here, near the NC/SC border. This meant that we were on the Eastern side of the storm, which did not carry much rainfall. We did get some sort of heavy winds, but while I was awake with Eli last night, I remember thinking, "This is it? This just seems like a bad rain storm". Then when I got up this morning Chris told me to look out the window, and this is what I saw.

So he went to buy a chainsaw this morning and has been busy chopping up the tree today. Tomorrow will probably be spent picking up the rest of the debris in the yard. Meanwhile, all the other houses in our neighborhood, and it seems in all of Wilmington, are mess-free. It's like Hanna came by and just hovered over our yard. At least the tree didn't hit anything or cause any significant damage. We were lucky.

Eli had his best night of sleep in a long while. He didn't seem to mind all the noise of the storm one bit, it actually seemed to put him to sleep.

We took our walk early today--Tropical Storm Hanna is on her way!

2008-09-05T14:51:00.008-04:00

Normally, Chris, Eli, and I go for a walk around the neighborhood at 7 PM every night. However, with Tropical Storm Hanna on her way, Eli and I walked early today. Chris has been busy stocking up on water and ice--just in case, although it looks like this is going to be a relatively mild storm and forecasters are still unsure about where it will make landfall. Any input, Tony?

Preparing for a storm has been slightly different this year. Neither Chris nor I can even hope to get any time off work, as I'm already off and Chris works from home.

So keep an eye on the storm with us and hope that Ike leaves us alone! Also, a few more photos have been posted on our photo site here.

Finally, a photo site

2008-09-01T12:35:00.003-04:00

Okay, I have finally gotten on the ball and created a site for our photos. I must admit, I was inspired by my dad. If he can do it, I can do it. There will be a permanent link to the site on the left side of this page under "Links", or you can click here. The address is http://talleybaby.shutterfly.com. Enjoy! Now that I have the photos organized, I just need to get better at taking them more often.

Back in Wilmington

2008-08-30T20:00:00.004-04:00

Well, we have returned to Wilmington and settled in after our first trip to Cincinnati. Eli was incredibly good on the plane. Our flight up was very uneventful; I held Eli in a Moby Wrap (see photo--not me) on the plane and he slept the entire flight and throughout the airport until we got our rental car. We had a wonderful time in Cincinnati, sharing Eli with his grandparents especially, as well as neighbors and other family. While we were there, his umbilical cord fell off (finally!). He has also mostly outgrown his newborn clothing and is safely in 3-6 month clothing, despite only being 6 weeks. He is growing fast; at more than 6 weeks he is getting some chubby legs and cheeks and weighs more than 10 pounds.

Our return flight was a bit more stressful, but Eli was the champ again. Due to a broken part and then thunderstorms at the airport, we were stuck on the plane for 3 1/2 hours before taking off. Our flight was then 1 1/2 hours. He slept the whole way and didn't cry at all. What a baby! Of course, he didn't sleep well last night after all that, but hopefully he is back on schedule.

Thanks to the loss of his cord, he finally had his first real bath today. He wasn't crazy about it, but he enjoyed being wrapped up in his towel afterwards. We'll try to post more photos soon. We're really bad about taking, saving, printing, and posting photos, but we'll try to do better. We miss all our Cincinnati family and friends! Hope to see you all again soon.

Happy Birthday Eli!

2008-08-18T20:45:00.003-04:00

Today is Eli's one month birthday. He's doing well, sleeping well, eating well, and generally being cute--even his burps and farts are quite cute. At least, his parents and grandparents think so. Today he made his first trip to the beach and tasted a bit of ice cream. It seemed like he enjoyed it. At least, it made him quit crying for a minute. Best of all, we were accompanied by Grandma and Grandpa Wimmers for these two firsts. We treasure every moment together.

What's been going on...

2008-08-08T19:39:00.004-04:00

Okay, okay, more photos!

2008-07-28T19:01:00.008-04:00

Okay, you get your wish; more photos! Here they are.

As far as our Talley family, we are doing just fine. Some days are harder than others, but every day we are learning more and more. Once we got the whole breastfeeding thing down, we found that Eli wanted to eat ALL the time. For four or five hours at a time! Then we figured out that maybe he wasn't hungry, he just likes the attention from his mommy. But his mommy started getting a little sick and tired of it. So today he was strongly encouraged to take a pacifier. And guess what--it worked! Hopefully this progress will keep up.

We owe a big thanks to our parents. Although we have been struggling to learn about how to best take care of Eli's needs, they have been patient, understanding, and very generous, bringing us whatever we need every day and waiting patiently for their turn to hold him. Although we know they think that they haven't done much, they have been a huge help and we couldn't have made it through the first week without them. Thank you, thank you, thank you! We love you.

More Pictures!

2008-07-23T17:53:00.006-04:00

Thought it was worth adding some new photos.

Here we are on our first night...everybody has left and it is just Andrea, Eli, and me. Eli's eyes were, I think, open and looking around for the first time. He slept in that little cradle, and it was nice that it was clear so we could maintain a constant vigil over him.

Andrea and Eli having a peaceful moment together. They are very beautiful together.

At Grandma Talley's request, a new picture. :-)

Me and Eli maxing. I thought I had it all figured out...but it doesn't take long to dispel that.

This photo was after we had gotten back from the Doctor's office (for Eli's snip). It was hot outside, we were exhausted, and so we just fell asleep. I assured Eli things would be alright.

Will post some more soon. Many appreciative thanks for the thoughts, flowers, cards, and assorted goodies that have been sent our way. These first days have been exhausting, exhilarating, and forever etched in our memory. And Eli is the coolest!

Love,

Chris, Andrea, and Eli

Update

2008-07-19T12:18:00.004-04:00

Hi All!

So here's an update on details.

Elliot "Eli" James Talley weighed in at 8 Pounds, 11 ounces, and the tale of the tape says he was 21 inches long! That's a keeper!

The whole thing started at around 2:30 AM Thursday night--Andrea wondered if she was having contractions. By 4:30 AM, we were measuring them, and by 6:00 AM we were in the hospital.

Andrea decided going in she wanted to do it "naturally", and was an incredible trooper through it all. It was sometimes hard to tell she was going through contractions because she was so quiet, though she did have to start gritting her teeth by the time it came to push around...I think 1:30 pm. She didn't give up though, and after almost fainting in the last push, Eli
decided it was time and arrived at 3:35 PM. It was a great achievement, and we really want to thank our Mid-wife Suzanne and nurse Ericka for being a super support team!

Cleanup took awhile, but finally by about 5ish, the Talley Grandparents and Susan Wood (thanks again for posting the pics!) got to see him. Smiles all around! Later, around 7, the Wimmer Grandparents made it in from their Cinci flight, and it was more of the same. We also managed to eat some food (Andrea's first meal in a long time!), and by 9, we settled into the night...

I continually have been finding newfound respect for parents (in general), and particularly all the parents I know (least of them my own), and last night was hard fought--and much loved--and I am proud to join the club. Eli did keep us up, and we were both beyond exhausted. When I finally stretched out on the pull out couch at...hm, 1 in the morning, I literally felt like a steamroller had given me a go; I was amazed by Andrea's strength in this regard, as she continued to show such patience for Eli's needs (I did, too, but I didn't have to breastfeed!).

We made it through though, and we got a good couple of hours in the later morning that has really shot us through the day so far.

Elliot. Wow. Again, newfound respect and kinship with parents. When my mother says you will never feel a love as powerful as that love for your newborn, she was so right. It makes me tear up just thinking about it. He has been amazing, and seeing, just inches away from my face, a little human being open his eyes for the first time and look around...there is no price for such an experience, and the most pivotal experience I have had as a human being--it shakes me to my core, and I certainly hope everyone has an opportunity to experience it in their life as well.

Ok, enough chit chat...time to get back to business!

Love,

Chris, Andrea, and Eli

July 18, 2008 - The Big Day!!!

2008-07-18T21:45:00.012-04:00

Elliot James Talley arrived today at 3:35! Woohoo! Andrea was incredible, but we’ll save the details of all that for later. It’s hard to explain how happy we are right now…I cried more than Eli when he was born!

Thanks so much to Susan for doing this update! And we will update more tomorrow!

Love! Chris!

One Week Til Due Date!

2008-07-13T12:15:00.006-04:00

Sorry it's been so long since we updated this blog. We just haven't known what to say! I'm still pregnant and the baby is still "head-down, but face-up", but it seems like my body is progressing towards labor well. It's been a pretty quiet weekend, just waiting for something to happen...

Here are a few pictures taken by my friend in Cincinnati. I have to give him a plug here--he was very professional and made me comfortable, despite showing off my giant belly. If you are looking for a photographer for any occasion, visit his web site here. These pictures were taken about two weeks ago and I'm quite a bit larger by now, but I don't feel the need to produce evidence here.

Last weekend on July 4th, Chris' parents had a wonderful party for us at their beach house in Ocean Isle. We had a cookout, made homemade ice cream, and enjoyed seeing our family who we don't see often enough! Thank you, Briggs and Talley families, for everything!

I'm still working; unless something happens early, I plan to work up until this Friday and then maybe some half-days after that if I'm still around. Our bags are packed and we're ready to go any time, though. We will write a post here with pictures as soon as we have some news to share, so keep posted!

One Month to Go

2008-06-20T14:53:00.005-04:00

The second-most common question I am asked these days, after "When are you due" is "Are you ready?" Until last weekend, my answer was always "absolutely not". Now I am starting to get a little closer to feeling ready. We do have a crib and dresser, and the bookshelves and changing table are on their way. We also have chosen a pediatrician and are in the process of finding at-home child care.

But I think what people most want to know is, am I physically and mentally ready. I'm getting there. Although I have really enjoyed being pregnant, I think nine months is just about the right amount of time, and you get big enough that you're ready to be done. Despite all the warnings we receive about how difficult the first few weeks are, we are trying to stay positive and look forward to that special time.

Knowing that my mom is doing so well has been such a huge relief in the past few weeks. It will be wonderful if this keeps up and she feels this well while she's here with us and our new baby.

My New Favorite Activity

2008-06-18T15:07:00.003-04:00

A couple weeks ago, I gave up on going to the gym, going for walks, and weight lifting. My hands and feet are just too swollen, and any type of upright walking position just makes them worse. When I wake up in the morning, it is painful to move my fingers, and when I clock in at work the machine doesn't recognize my fingerprint!

But I have discovered the PERFECT workout for pregnancy. Through my job, I have a pool available to me during my lunch break, and I have been swimming laps for about 40 minutes a day. During those 40 minutes, I don't feel weighed down by my extra 40 pounds--I'm actually more buoyant! Also, I don't feel hot, the swelling goes down, and it gives me energy for the rest of my day. Swimming is also good for getting the baby in a favorable position, as it relieves pressure and allows the baby to move.

Sometimes I go to a senior water exercise class, also available to me through my job. It's harder than it sounds and is a great workout for the entire body. It's a good change-up from the laps.

He's not breech!

2008-06-16T16:47:00.002-04:00

As some of you know, a doctor I saw in Cincinnati and the midwife I saw here in Wilmington, upon feeling my belly, both suspected that the baby was in a breech position (head up instead of down). Which worried me because I didn't want to have a c-section, which is pretty standard for a breech baby. We found out through an ultrasound today that he is not breech, but he is in a posterior position, meaning that when I am on my back, he is on his back. He is supposed to be face-down. I have been given some things to try to get him to flip, so if you were to look in my window at night, you might see me doing all kinds of strange movements. I'll be on hands and knees a lot and generally leaning forward. Since a baby's back is it's heaviest part, if I am belly-down that will encourage his back to move down. So I have something to work on. Posterior babies can be delivered normally, but they generally cause extreme back pain during labor.

Chris and I were both a little disappointed by the ultrasound--we expected pictures like we got before. But since he's so much bigger, the ultrasound could only capture small parts of him at a time. But we did get this profile of his face. He is facing to the left, nose in the middle, forehead on top, chin on bottom. Hopefully you can make it out.

More on the midwife--I have decided to switch to the midwifery care at my practice. I still go to the same practice and will have my delivery at the hospital, but from now on I will see midwives there instead of doctors, and the baby will be delivered by a midwife. I was lucky enough to be accepted by them at the last minute.

Want my autograph?

2008-06-04T13:44:00.003-04:00

A major project that I have been working on, called the Cross-City Trail, was highlighted in a TV news story on Monday. You can view the story at http://www.wwaytv3.com/video/trail_being_built_to_connect_parts_of_wilmington/06. I have a brief appearance in the video. Not a great shot of me, but I am just happy that this project received some positive publicity.

Go Green!

2008-06-03T16:38:00.003-04:00

Our very wonderful friends in Wilmington held a baby shower for us on Sunday. The theme of the party was "Go Green", as in "Save the Environment", not the color green, though some people took it more literally than others. Here we are with the party planners who made it all happen (Holly, Susan, Roseanne, Rae, John Thomas). A special thanks to Warren and Andy for making the cakes (not pictured).

You can see from the spread below that they worked very hard to stick with the theme--the plates, cups, and "plastic" ware were all made from bio-degradable items, such as potatoes and corn! No, you can't eat them. We even got a Sago Palm to take home and plant in our yard.

The guests were instructed to wrap gifts in newspaper or some other re-usable bag. It was a totally guilt-free party--except that we felt guilty being showered with gifts and attention with nothing to give in return!

What can we say except how wonderful it was too see everyone and how grateful we are to have such generous and fun friends. It was a great party!

So much to write about!

2008-05-31T20:46:00.003-04:00

So much has happened since my last post, I don't know where to start. I'm sure you've all read my parents' blog about last weekend. What a weekend it was! Two surprise parties in one day and another shower on Sunday! All I can say is how grateful I am that everything went off without a hitch--we were especially lucky with the weather. And I'm even more grateful to everyone who helped with and hosted the parties; the Trestle Dr. neighbors and my Aunt Pam. An extra BIG thank-you to Gregg and Cindy Enger, who helped in a major way with both surprise parties, the day before they hosted a birthday party for their son! What can I say but THANK YOU!

It was so great to spend time with everyone who came to the parties. And what fun to open all the gifts from everyone and ooh and ahh over how cute all the baby stuff is! My Wilmington friends are hosting a shower for me tomorrow, so more fun and cute baby stuff is on the way!

I noticed when I started to write this that there are 50 days until my due date. Time sure is flying by! Fortunately, we have moved back into our house and the contractors are out. The carpet looks great! We still have a lot of things to move back into place, but it's getting done slowly but surely. I spent 7 hours cleaning up after our sloppy contractors today--boy, was I tired! We are finally ready for a crib and other nursery furniture.

I had a great 32nd birthday yesterday. I went to see a movie with some girl friends and then went out for dessert/drinks with friends after the movie. Today I got a Wii Fit game from my parents as a birthday gift. It's starts you off with a fit test, and weighs you and gives your BMI. For the first time in my life, I was called overweight. And my Wii Fit Age was 67! Obviously there's no option to enter that you are pregnant.

I feel like I'm mostly over the cold that I got last weekend. Now I'm suffering from leg cramps almost every night. Which I think is less fun for Chris than it is for me!

I think that's all for now. Thanks again for everyone who helped make last weekend so special for me and my mom. We will never forget it!

Two Months to Go!

2008-05-22T10:18:00.003-04:00

Well, on Tuesday I hit my seven-month mark. I'm still feeling pretty good, except for some emotional ups and downs. Also, swollen feet!

The past couple of weeks have been weird. We've had contractors in our house almost every day, fixing stuff, painting, and replacing carpet. This photo was taken the night before the carpet was replaced. The house has pretty much looked like that for 2 weeks. And because of the fumes and dust, we've been sleeping mostly at my parents' condo. So between going to Cincinnati, sleeping at the condo, trying to find stuff in our huge pile, and living partially out of suitcases, it's been pretty crazy. We both look forward to getting our house back to normal now that the carpet is in--once we get back from Cincinnati next week!

Mother's Day, Part 2

2008-05-15T14:26:00.002-04:00

While Chris was in Ocean Isle with his family last weekend, I was in Cincinnati with mine. Some people acknowledged that this was my first Mother's Day as a mother, and others said it was my last Mother's Day of not being a mother. The only thing that mattered to me was getting to spend a very quality week with my own mom. Her feeling better than expected was the best Mother's Day gift I could have received. And while I hated to miss seeing Chris' family and being away from him on his birthday, I was grateful that we could each be with our families and that we have the joy of parenthood to anticipate.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T15:49:00.006-04:00

Happy Mother's Day (in no particular order): Gamma, Granny, Linda, Ann, and soon to be mom Andrea!

On this mother's day (and my birthday), I had the pleasure of also seeing my cousin Derek and his wife Bree, and their newborn. I held a baby yall:

I can definitely say holding the little baby Holt was a special feeling that brought out the to-be-father in me. I'm glad our son will have such special mom, grandmoms, and great-grandmoms surrounding him.

Love you all!

As an added bonus, here's a Doogan picture:

Chris

A New House!

2008-05-04T17:59:00.003-04:00

We spent the weekend in Cincinnati at my cousin Eleanor's wedding. The wedding was beautiful and fun and touching. I think my 3rd-trimester hormones are kicking in because I cried throughout most of the ceremony. But it really was a beautiful wedding. The best part was seeing my mom dance at the reception!

When we got back to our house in Wilmington, we were surprised to see that it was a different color! Not shocked, because we had contracted a crew to do it, we just didn't expect so much of it to be finished when we got back. It's not completely finished, but it's on the way. For those of you who haven't seen the house before, it used to be light brown with the same dark brown trim. One of the things that is not yet finished is that the door is going to be red!

Hopefully this week the new carpet will be installed in our house, and then next week the inside of our house will be painted. Right now our house is in disorder while light fixtures and fans are being replaced and plumbing is being repaired. Which we are going to have to get used to for the next few weeks, months, and probably years.

The Wedge Is Complete

2008-04-24T15:13:00.005-04:00

Chris here. So after over a month of work, the Wedge is finally complete. Behold the grandeur. Here's the downstairs:

As you can see on the left, we have nifty Kayak racks, and in the center some fancy stairs. Now if I only had someone to play ping-pong with (I spose in five years I definitely will have someone).

Here's the upstairs:

This is where I spend my work day. Very comfy. My desk is mess as this pic was taken in the middle of a work day.

Once we get the new carpet in the house, all of this will become the domain of the cats.

Until then, ta ta!

Fatty McGee

2008-04-11T18:29:00.003-04:00

I have a friend (who shall remain nameless) who has a fat alter-ego named Fatty McGee. He's the devil on your shoulder who encourages bad habits and makes you fat. I'm starting to feel like Fatty McGee has picked up and is nestled firmly within my body. I don't really like any pictures of myself anymore, but I post them anyway--grudgingly.

I have two funny stories that are proof of my Fatty McGee manifestation. The first being that last weekend, when I flew home to Cincinnati, I took my seat and realized to my horror and the embarrassment of the woman next to me that...ahem...my seatbelt wouldn't buckle! I must qualify this by saying that the seatbelt was extremely short and the seatbelts on my other flights did fit. However, rather than facing the embarrassment of having to change seats, I held a book over my lap the entire flight so that the stewardess wouldn't notice my unbuckled seatbelt.

Then yesterday I attempted to wear a skirt that was not a maternity skirt, but has an elastic band and I thought I might be able to wear it below my belly. No such luck. To my pure shock, I couldn't get it past my thighs! Until that point I hadn't realized how much the rest of me was growing. Now I know.

People keep telling me how I'm "all baby" and I don't look big at all for being almost 6 months pregnant. But the facts don't lie. And the fact is that I've gained 25 pounds so far, and women are generally expected to gain a pound per week in the last trimester. I keep trying to figure out how I'm not going to end up with a 40 pound weight gain! Maybe I could lay off the cake and ice cream...nah!

I'm not complaining, I love my pregnant body and look forward to the last trimester, despite the miserable things I keep hearing. I generally feel good and am thrilled about what we're doing.

July 20

2008-04-01T19:26:00.004-04:00

When I tell people my due date, I get the same response 90% of the time: "Oh man, you're going to be hot". The other 10% of the time, I hear, "Oh, so and so's birthday is July whatever. Maybe he'll be born on that day". My brother's birthday is on July 23rd. At first, I just thought the same thing, that they could have the same birthday. Then, around Thanksgiving, I realized that meant that I would be going through my stages of pregnancy at the same times of year that my mom did. We were both around 6 weeks at Thanksgiving, 10 weeks at Christmas, 11 weeks at New Year's (no partying), and, yes, in the later stages of pregnancy in the heat of the summer. Just another way that I feel connected to my mom.

My due date is also significant because Chris' beloved Gramps passed away on July 20, 2005. He is greatly missed and would have loved to meet his great-grandson. But if our son is one of the 5% of babies born on their due date, it would be a nice, sentimental reminder that Gramps is still with us, and hopefully many of his traits will be passed down to Talleybaby.

Spring in Wilmington

2008-03-28T18:44:00.008-04:00

Spring has officially arrived in Wilmington. With it, we Wilmingtontonians get to enjoy the beautiful blooming azaleas and dogwoods. Here is a picture of the nice arrangement that Chris picked from our yard this week.

Unfortunately, spring in Wilmington also means that everything outdoors (cars, decks, sidewalks, etc) are covered with a film of yellow dust--otherwise know as pollen. I never minded the pollen too much before. Ugly, but I'll take it with the warm weather. But since I've been pregnant, I have had sinus trouble like I never did before. I get bloody noses, headaches, and general sluggishness from stuffy sinuses. I have heard a few other pregnant women complain about this, but I understand it's not an extremely common symptom of pregnancy. Today I realized that I am suddenly sensitive to pollen, along with just about everybody else. Here's a picture of our front porch covered in it. The porch is usually dark brown.

One more note of interest. I finally found time to stop by the natural baby store in the Cotton Exchange today. I had learned about it at the Holistic Maternity and Family Fair a few weeks back, when I spoke to the owner who very patiently showed me the various types of cloth diapers that are now available. She actually made them seem usable, using her child in a sling on her hip as an example. She explained that cloth diapers have come a long way, baby--they are fitted, much more absorbent, and easier to clean than in the old days. I know that they may not work at all times in all situations, but I hope to use them in addition to disposables. The savings in cost and to the environment just make too much sense not to try them.

This quaint little store in a historic shopping area offers registries, but not on-line. They do have a web site, and people who are looking for a "green gift" can e-mail or call them for my registry. Which brings me to my favorite thing about this store--the name, "You Are My Sunshine". My mom always sang this song to me when I was younger, and she even cross-stitched a wall hanging for me with a rainbow and that phrase. Have I mentioned how much I love my mom? I love you mom!

The Black-Eyed Pea

2008-03-19T10:20:00.006-04:00

Since I don't have much news to report at the moment, I thought I'd take this opportunity to post my early ultrasounds. I have photos from 3 that were taken in the first 10 weeks--at 5 1/2 weeks (the black-eyed pea), 6 1/2 weeks (the blob with a heart beat), and 9 1/2 weeks (when he actually started to look like a tiny baby). The last one is the photo that Chris and I and our parents loved and adored until the more recent ones at 4 months.

Because of the timing of my last visit and the fact that everything has been going smoothly so far, I have 7 weeks in between OB visits. My next one is scheduled for April 2.

My Surrogate Husband

2008-03-17T13:14:00.006-04:00

If you read the last post, you know that I sometimes have a need for a surrogate husband. My friend Susan* has filled this role splendidly for many years, and mostly that has entailed being my date to parties that Chris didn't want to go to. Lately, though, she has taken the role to a whole new level.

On Saturday, she accompanied me to a holistic maternity and family fair. We learned about doulas and cloth diapers and got free massages and reiki treatments. When someone asked Susan if she was expecting and I said "She's expecting my baby", I immediately felt the need to clarify, "but we're just friends". We then ate pizza and took a walk on the beach.

Since Carolina did, in fact, make it to the finals of the ACC tournament, Susan came with me on Sunday to my partner prenatal yoga class. I felt bad for her, because she did very little yoga and mostly just helped me in my poses, but she said she enjoyed it. The instructor ended the class by having my surrogate husband massage my feet. I must say, she was very good at it. I am glad, too that I have a friend who can help me with the poses when I need it.

I'm sure there will be many more uses for my surrogate husband in the months and years to come, and I'm glad to have her. I hope I can fill the role for her as well as she has filled it for me.

*Most of you know I have two good friends named Susan. Here, I am of course referring to the one who lives in Wilmington, Susan Wood. Although I'm sure my other friend, Susan Wenner Jackson who lives in Cincinnati, would also make a great surrogate husband.

More on that Surrogate Husband thing...

Chris here. It is with a little guilt I write this as I didn't attend the Yoga class, but I am also very very grateful to Susan for standing in for me, which as Andrea notes, she has done before. In fact, she's done so for as long as Andrea and I have known each other, which has been upwards of 13 years. Even back in college, I would be goofing off with Ed, and Susan would be the Surrgoate date for Andrea (and vice versa of course). Susan has also volunteered to clean our cat's litter box (and her sister Melody too), while we have been away, and there have been times when she has just done nice little things. without asking.

So thank you Susan! Where would we be without you! On another note, thanks to Andrea for being a good sport and letting me go watch the game (and Nascar race). It was a thrill to see UNC win again, and my buddies Warren, Jeff, Andy and (eventually Breese) were all glad I could be there to watch it with them.

Talleybaby appreciates it, too, as somebody had to fill him in on the details of the game. :-)

Chris

A Lot Rides on This Game!

2008-03-15T08:21:00.003-04:00

Chris here. So, today at 1ish, UNC plays Virginia Tech, and the victor goes to the ACC championship. The loser: does partner Yoga!

Yep, that's right! You see, long before this ACC tourney, Andrea signed up for her prenatal yoga class and failed to mention to me that I was signed up for particular days as well, and one of those days was the Championship Game Day of the ACC tourney--something I have always watched since I was a kid...

So here we were, confronted with this...issue. Go to Talleybaby Yoga class, or watch the ACC game. We made a compromise. If UNC wins, I can watch the game. If they lose, Yoga. Fair enough, and I think Talley Baby would agree with our decision (although he probably would rather watch the B-Ball game even if UNC isn't in it). :-)

So.......GO HEELS!

Chris

Kicking Out the the Cats

2008-03-05T19:51:00.007-05:00

We have been married for almost 9 years, and for 9 years, it has been me, Chris, and our two cats in our household. We love our cats, and they are spoiled because of it. As you can see, napping with the cats is an art form around our house. They sleep in our bed, sit on our laps, and generally provide entertainment and lounging. For more proof about how much we love our cats, visit their blog. Of course with all the lounging about that they love to do, they haven’t found time to post lately.

But all that is getting ready to change. Not only are naps going to become a thing of the past, but the cats will be moving out. You see, they are not all fun and games. They keep a messy litter box (and don’t always use it), they jump on everything, eat any food we leave out, and would generally be a hindrance to the raising of a small baby.

Our neighborhood has lots of feral cats and even packs of wild dogs, so our pampered house cats would certainly perish in the tough animal world of our neighborhood. So we are renovating our two-story detached garage. Not only will this give our cats a place to live, but Chris will have an office in the second story. He is working from home now, so he will get to spend a lot of time with the cats out there.

Still, whenever we are snuggling with Sierra or laughing at Nevada, I feel a twinge of guilt. They have no idea how their lives are getting ready to change. While Chris will still see them a lot, I definitely won’t see them as often. And they will be sleeping somewhere other than in our bed at night. But we will have a new joy in our lives, and I’m sure that my cat-guilt will soon be replaced by another, grander guilt—the guilt of the working mom.

Half-way there!

2008-03-02T18:40:00.007-05:00

My mom said she thinks that what our loved ones out of town are most interested in is seeing pictures of me advancing through the pregnancy. Well, at Talleybaby, you get what you ask for! I am now at 4 ½ months—exactly half-way through a 40-week term. Looking a little more pregnant, I suppose, but it is still not obvious to many, even people who know me! I have also found that some days I look much more pregnant than others, depending on my clothing. Clothing for tall pregnant women is not easy to come by, by the way. I am doing a lot of shopping and not much buying. For the first time in my life, I am having alterations done professionally.

It is hard to believe that I’m halfway already. On the one hand, it seems like the first 4 ½ months went so fast, but on the other, I can’t believe I still have 4 ½ to go! I’m glad though, because we still have so much to do to get ready. We have absolutely nothing right now, except the bedding set (which I love) and a cute bib from Grandma Talley.

What Motherhood Means to Me

2008-02-26T17:25:00.007-05:00

I Love You Because…
For Mom

You made me a rainbow room and a Grover pillow.
You let me lick the beaters for every batch of cake you mixed.
You filled the hallway candy jar with candy corn every October.
You never forgot to put out the “You are special today” plate on my birthday.
You taught me to bring a book when I get my hair cut,
And that hours wasted playing Set are not hours wasted.
You made me French toast every Saturday morning.
You clapped hands with me whenever we walked together.
You taught me to love chocolate thoroughly and unabashedly,
And to enjoy Breakfast at Wimbledon with mimosas.
You always chat up cashiers at the grocery store.
Your thumbs are always active, and so are mine.
You’ve shown me the art of making a great care package
And how to have many best friends.

You believe that the only actions that matter in life are what you do for others
And that everybody needs somebody, and that you should be that somebody.

You encourage me to be myself and you love me for who I am.
You taught me to enjoy life and to laugh in the hardest of times
And to be good because you trusted me, not because I might get in trouble.

You have given me a model of motherhood.
Thank you.

A Day of Preparation

2008-02-24T19:54:00.005-05:00

We were asked to bring our "birth partners" to the prenatal class today. Chris dreaded it all week. He was in a bad mood when he woke up this morning, and when I asked him why, he said "because I'm yoga-ing against my will today". Too bad. He had to go. It turns out he enjoyed it more than he thought he would, and we both learned some stretches and relaxation postures that we can do at home, including the pose shown here.

We also went to Toys R' Us to check out the selection this morning. We don't have a Babies R' Us here in Wilmington, but the Toys R' Us did have a good selection of baby stuff. I expected to be lost when it came time to registering for and buying baby stuff, but today I realized that it's not that confusing--we basically need one or two of everything. We didn't register yet; we still haven't gotten the bedding that I ordered and we are also going to check out what Target has to offer. We'll probably register at both. Now comes my poll: I would like to know any advice that all the parents out there have for registering. Is there anything you are really glad you had, or that you wish you had, that is not an obvious item? Any and all suggestions are welcome.

I Dream of Wiener Dogs

2008-02-20T08:55:00.003-05:00

So I (Chris) had a dream the other night. Wanna hear about it? Great, here it goes!

I dreamed of Dachshunds. Five Dachshund puppies actually. Andrea and I were moving into some new home with a huge back yard, and I opened this box and out shot five baby wieners!

From there, the rest of the dream was pretty silly; those hotdogs were running all over the place, and we weren't chasing them in a "gotta catch you before something bad happens" kind of way, but more of a "oh, I'm going to tickle you when I get you" sort of way, which was of course kind of corny, but whenever I see my parents' Dachshund Doogan, that's what I do...which I hear is considered a form of art in Finland.

Anyway, Andrea was interested in the dream and found this somewhere on the web. I will now commit plagiarism before your very eyes:

During the second trimester, a pregnant woman's dreams contain animals that are more baby-like, such as pups, chicks, and kittens. Depending upon her attitude toward the pregnancy, her mate, and her situation, the animal may be either threatening or lovable. Joan's dream (above) suggests she felt some ambivalence about the effect of the strange new creature coming into her life. Would its presence be destructive?

The presence of friendly animals — rare and charming creatures in dreams — is generally thought to represent a good relationship between the dreamer and his or her instincts. In the dreams of many pregnant women, animals are frequently cuddly and cute. You may find that the animals in your dreams develop from sea creature to land mammal, repeating the journey of primeval ancestors; at other times you may find you dream of your unborn child directly. Your feeling about the animal or baby reveals something about your attitude at the time of the dream.

So the moral of the story? If you find yourself suddenly transformed into a wiener dog in a dream, and you see me, RUN!

Nursery Theme (or Lack thereof)

2008-02-19T16:26:00.003-05:00

As soon as people found out we were expecting, they started asking us about our nursery theme. To which my response was always "I dunno". I didn't really want to give it much thought until we knew the sex. I always assumed, though, as did most of our friends and family, that there would be some kind of nature or animal theme, ourselves being nature- and animal-lovers, and those being such common nursery themes. However, as I did research on-line for nursery theme ideas and viewed pictures of nurseries with themes, I found that it was all just too over-the-top cutsie for my taste. I was having dinner with my friend Susan last week, and for some reason, it hit me like a flash--I would decorate in blue and brown. You see, I love that color combination and have always wanted to decorate a room in those colors, but have not had a room that would be appropriate. This is the perfect opportunity. The colors are both manly and appropriate for babies, and they make me happy. Plus I think the Talleys should be happy, as this theme incorporates UNC's color, "Carolina Blue". The photo is the bedding set I ordered on-line from JC Penney. Hopefully I will like the colors and the fabric in person as much as I like the picture--if not, we're back to square-one.

Still Just Looking a Little Chubby

2008-02-17T18:30:00.006-05:00

I went to my prenatal yoga class this afternoon. There was a woman in the class who, I swear, looks 40 weeks pregnant. At least I think she looks how I'm going to look at 40 weeks. I later found out that she is only 24 weeks pregnant! Mind you, I am 18 weeks and look nothing like that. People keep telling me I should be glad not to be so big, but I just wish I looked pregnant rather than a little chubby. It is awkward to have to tell people I'm pregnant, and then they look down and wonder if I'm even past my first trimester. Of course I know this is due in large part to my tall stature--there's lots of room for the baby to lengthen out. The woman in my class said her stomach started "popping out" at 18 weeks. So maybe soon. I'm hoping the maternity clothes my mom and I ordered last weekend will get here soon, and they might also help me look more pregnant. The prenatal yoga class is great, by the way.

It's a Boy!

2008-02-14T16:11:00.004-05:00

A big thanks to a couple of my aunts, who suggested that we create a blog so that our friends and family across the state and the country can keep up with our pregnancy and other news. I have been waiting until things really got going, and it feels like this is the right time to start it.

Chris and I went to our OBGYN on Tuesday, the morning after I arrived back in Wilmington from Cincinnati. We were both excited to learn the sex of the baby, though we both already had a feeling it was a boy. The ultrasound tech was really great, and gave us the photos below to keep.

Besides finding out the sex, we also learned that everything else was intact--10 fingers and 10 toes, one heart, etc. According to the ultrasound, he is in the 84th percentile for size--but you wouldn't know if from the size of my belly! He's also about 5 1/2 inches and .48 pounds. Where does all that fit in there?

I started feeling a few tiny kicks last week. They can't be felt from the outside yet, but I can feel them periodically inside. It's a nice, reassuring feeling.

We were thrilled to find out the news. We would have been thrilled about either a boy or a girl, but it was exciting to know for sure and to get to see the little guy, even if he does look a little like the Terminator. Now we just need to get used to calling the baby a "him" instead of an "it".