Mom has been gone for two years now. It is as hard to believe that she is gone as it was the day she died. I still can't wrap my head around it. She was the central personality in our immediate family and, to me at least, in our extended families. Holidays and gatherings still feel empty without her. They always will. She would have been happier than anyone at our Thanksgiving celebration on Friday about the five babies age two and under. Mom used to dream about the day we'd have a lot of kids at our parties. It is here, and she missed it altogether. There was no better gift-giver, and no one I enjoyed shopping for so much. I always wanted to match her talent for finding the perfect gift. I miss sitting on the couch and watching tennis with her, shopping with her, cooking with her, and waking up to her french toast. I wish we could enjoy Eli together and talk about motherhood and what I was like as a baby/toddler. I thought I was prepared to miss her. But the hole she left in my life takes me by surprise every day. I guess that's the down side to being so much to so many people. The hole.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Two Years
Mom has been gone for two years now. It is as hard to believe that she is gone as it was the day she died. I still can't wrap my head around it. She was the central personality in our immediate family and, to me at least, in our extended families. Holidays and gatherings still feel empty without her. They always will. She would have been happier than anyone at our Thanksgiving celebration on Friday about the five babies age two and under. Mom used to dream about the day we'd have a lot of kids at our parties. It is here, and she missed it altogether. There was no better gift-giver, and no one I enjoyed shopping for so much. I always wanted to match her talent for finding the perfect gift. I miss sitting on the couch and watching tennis with her, shopping with her, cooking with her, and waking up to her french toast. I wish we could enjoy Eli together and talk about motherhood and what I was like as a baby/toddler. I thought I was prepared to miss her. But the hole she left in my life takes me by surprise every day. I guess that's the down side to being so much to so many people. The hole.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
This is a big week for us. We have started the process of potty training and are planning to move Eli into a big bed tomorrow night. I never planned to make two big changes at the same time, but he suddenly seemed ready for both, or maybe I'm the one who's ready. I can't guarantee that we won't all freak out and revert to diapers and the crib by next week, but we're trying. Wish us luck!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
My Little Baby Duck
It seems like some kids are in to being "big kids" but Eli is not one of those kids. He's going through a phase where he loves for me to sing "Rock-a-bye Baby" to him. He still eats in a high chair and sleeps in a crib. He's even been referring to himself as "baby" sometimes. I think this has something to do with the anticipation of his baby brother and him sensing that he won't be the baby for long. I am afraid about what this might forebode for when the baby is actually here.
He's also a bit of a baby on the playground. If another kid, especially if it's an older boy, tries to take something from him, he hands it over. If he gets pushed or shoved, he cries and runs away. In a way I wish he would stand up for himself, but I also kind of love that he's still my innocent baby. And I am proud that he isn't the one doing the bullying.
He's also a bit of a baby on the playground. If another kid, especially if it's an older boy, tries to take something from him, he hands it over. If he gets pushed or shoved, he cries and runs away. In a way I wish he would stand up for himself, but I also kind of love that he's still my innocent baby. And I am proud that he isn't the one doing the bullying.
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