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Monday, November 29, 2010

Two Years

Mom has been gone for two years now. It is as hard to believe that she is gone as it was the day she died. I still can't wrap my head around it. She was the central personality in our immediate family and, to me at least, in our extended families. Holidays and gatherings still feel empty without her. They always will. She would have been happier than anyone at our Thanksgiving celebration on Friday about the five babies age two and under. Mom used to dream about the day we'd have a lot of kids at our parties. It is here, and she missed it altogether. There was no better gift-giver, and no one I enjoyed shopping for so much. I always wanted to match her talent for finding the perfect gift. I miss sitting on the couch and watching tennis with her, shopping with her, cooking with her, and waking up to her french toast. I wish we could enjoy Eli together and talk about motherhood and what I was like as a baby/toddler. I thought I was prepared to miss her. But the hole she left in my life takes me by surprise every day. I guess that's the down side to being so much to so many people. The hole.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

:( I understand how you wish...wish...wish. It's so unfair. Unfair, these cards :]
When I think of the happy hearts our moms had, I have to figure that somehow they processed their grief enough to be happy for us...? What an unselfish love, incredible, and more than anything I want to say, 'thank you so much, but i can't' :'/

...so i figure i take the lesson and pay it forward...? WWMD :']

Love you Andrea! Hugs
<3 Olivia