Two Years

Mom has been gone for two years now. It is as hard to believe that she is gone as it was the day she died. I still can't wrap my head around it. She was the central personality in our immediate family and, to me at least, in our extended families. Holidays and gatherings still feel empty without her. They always will. She would have been happier than anyone at our Thanksgiving celebration on Friday about the five babies age two and under. Mom used to dream about the day we'd have a lot of kids at our parties. It is here, and she missed it altogether. There was no better gift-giver, and no one I enjoyed shopping for so much. I always wanted to match her talent for finding the perfect gift. I miss sitting on the couch and watching tennis with her, shopping with her, cooking with her, and waking up to her french toast. I wish we could enjoy Eli together and talk about motherhood and what I was like as a baby/toddler. I thought I was prepared to miss her. But the hole she left in my life takes me by surprise every day. I guess that's the down side to being so much to so many people. The hole.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

This is a big week for us. We have started the process of potty training and are planning to move Eli into a big bed tomorrow night. I never planned to make two big changes at the same time, but he suddenly seemed ready for both, or maybe I'm the one who's ready. I can't guarantee that we won't all freak out and revert to diapers and the crib by next week, but we're trying. Wish us luck!

My Little Baby Duck

It seems like some kids are in to being "big kids" but Eli is not one of those kids. He's going through a phase where he loves for me to sing "Rock-a-bye Baby" to him. He still eats in a high chair and sleeps in a crib. He's even been referring to himself as "baby" sometimes. I think this has something to do with the anticipation of his baby brother and him sensing that he won't be the baby for long. I am afraid about what this might forebode for when the baby is actually here.

He's also a bit of a baby on the playground. If another kid, especially if it's an older boy, tries to take something from him, he hands it over. If he gets pushed or shoved, he cries and runs away. In a way I wish he would stand up for himself, but I also kind of love that he's still my innocent baby. And I am proud that he isn't the one doing the bullying.

Eli videos, old and new

We just downloaded videos from the past two years, and I'm asking myself...how did Eli get from here...




To here?

Conversing

Eli has a wonderful vocabulary, but for the longest time it seemed like he mostly repeated what other people said, or talked about what he was thinking about. He still does that when he's feeling lazy, or not really paying attention, or doesn't understand what was said. He used to be bad at answering questions with a response other than yes or no. But lately he has started to converse with us. It's most evident to me when I pick him up from preschool and he tells me what he did. This is something that I was not a part of, and he is telling me about it. It's hard to explain how weird and exciting that is. I mean, we spend almost every waking hour together, so he doesn't have a lot to tell me that I don't already know.

Today was fire safety day at preschool. The fire safety van came to school and apparently some firefighter(s) showed Eli's class how to stop, drop, and roll, and how to spray out a fire with a hose. I know all of this because Eli told me. Weird! The whole thing had quite an impact on him, I think more than any other experience he's ever had. He talked about it all day, and even showed us how to stop, drop, and roll. I wish I could have been there to see the whole class doing it.

Also, when I was driving him home I asked him if he had any friends in class. He said "yes". I asked if he knew their names. He said "CJ". CJ! I happen to know this is the name of one of his classmates, but I don't know the kid. Eli was invited to CJ's birthday party. Now, it's possible that he knows CJ's name because CJ gets in trouble a lot. But still, it made my heart glow that Eli was able to name a friend...one that I didn't know.

Going to try to write more, I promise!

I've decided to make this more of a "Mommy Blog" and less about our family in particular. That means more writing about the trials, tribulations, and joys of being a mom. But before I get to that, I have some Talley business to attend to.

In case you haven't heard by now, and I'm not sure if anyone checks this blog anymore, much less anyone who doesn't already know this information, (please send me a comment if that is you) I am having another baby, he is due in February, and yes, he is a boy.

To be honest, I really wanted a girl. But the way Eli keeps talking about his "Baby Butter" (translation: Baby Brother) he is getting me excited too. And at least I still won't have girl hair to deal with, and maybe a little less pre-teen angst when the time comes. And yes, they can play together. They can play with their cars and trucks and spiderman and swords and leave me bewildered but trying to keep up. At least I like sports.

Making Strides Against Breast Cancer

I am walking in Making Strides Against Breast Cancer again this year. As many of you know, many women in my family have been affected by breast cancer. Although my mom died of kidney cancer, she was also diagnosed with breast cancer, along with her mother and sister, as well as her mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Fighting breast cancer is a cause that was close to my mom's heart and is close to mine, for the sake of my future, and the future of my younger family members. It is hard to ask people for money year after year, so this year I am offering a commemorative Linda Wimmers Christmas ornament as a thank-you to all of my supporters. No donation is too small. Order yours today by making a donation at my link below. Thanks!

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/MakingStridesAgainstBreastCancer/MSABCFY11SouthAtlantic?px=13016818&pg=personal&fr_id=28172

The American Cancer Society:

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/Making...

60

Today would be my mom's 60th birthday. Should be. Is. I know parents who have lost a child often wonder what their children would be like as they grow older. Thinking of her at 60 has made me wonder what she would have been like as she got older. Would she be any slower on the tennis court? Would she have more wrinkles? Would she ever let her hair go gray? Would she start dressing like she was 60 (instead of the perpetual 35 she seemed to be?) My mom never seemed as old as she was, so it is very hard to imagine her really getting old. Her heart was youthful, no matter her age. Much like my Grandma Wimmers. I can picture her being a lot like my Grandma Wimmers if she had gotten to grow old. She would have fallen right in love with her new role as Grandma.

I wonder what kind of party we would have had today. Maybe I would have missed it, as I missed her 50th. Until she got cancer I took those types of things for granted. Maybe she would have spent it at the beach with me and Eli. Maybe we would have taken a trip somewhere. I will never know. I just know that whatever it is we would have done, I wish we were doing it. So much.

Racecar

As an introvert, I have my share of misunderstandings with people. They misunderstand something I've said or done, or more often, something I've NOT said or done to be intentionally mean or spiteful, when really I was just being my shy self. It is hard to get along in this world of hidden meanings, body language, eye contact, etc. without the occasional offense here and there. (My mom, the quintesential extrovert, seemed to never have this problem.)

Eli seems to be an extrovert. He loves people. He, like his grandma, has never met a stranger. But today he experienced his first rejection, or "misunderstanding" and I wanted to cry from the unfairness of it all.

We were at the playground, and Eli spotted a little girl that he took a liking to. He walked right up to the girl and said, "racecar!" which is his icebreaker, his go-to line. I guess he thinks everyone loves racecars as much as he does. The girl just looked at him funny.

He repeated "racecar!", getting closer and closer each time he said it, maybe thinking the girl hadn't heard him. Finally the girl ran away.

My son, who never wants to leave the playground, who loves to play until he's forced to leave, walked by me to the parking lot and dejectedly said "home". My heart fell to pieces. He kept walking and said "car", trying to find our car.

I convinced him to stay, and reminded him of all his friends who he could play with who were there. I think he got over it quickly, but I didn't. It wasn't the first time he had tried to make a new friend and been rejected. But it was the first time that I know of that HE knew he had been rejected, and that he had his feelings hurt.

It was the first time of many in his life when he will be rejected, misunderstood, ignored, and have hurt feelings. This is life. I knew it would happen. But seeing the first time, and the loss of innocence that goes along with it, was almost too much for me to bear. Eli learned today that he can't just be himself and expect everyone to instantly like him. I wish it wasn't so.

The House

We finally bought a house. Not just "a" house, but "the" house. The day after we received an offer on our house, my friend took me to see this house in her neighborhood that she said was "under foreclosure". Ever since that fateful day of October 6, 2009, I have known that this was the house for us. I had a long list of demands for the perfect house (just ask our agent), and this house has it all. It is actually the only one in Wilmington that has it all. Trust me, I've looked. Namely:

-I preferred the Parsley Elementary school district, the best in town.
-Had to be in a neighborhood with a pool and tennis courts. This one has them across the street.
-Had to be in a family friendly neighborhood. Have not seen one that matches this one. It's even gated.
-Centrally located in Wilmington.
-Open floor plan: check.
-This house easily meets our square footage requirement, and then some.
-Not on my list, but an added bonus is that this house was custom built and designed, so it's very unique.
-Large, fenced-in backyard.

The very first day I went in that house, I thought, "Mom would love this house". Ever since then, I have felt that she has been watching out for us during this whole process because throughout our search I felt like there was this other voice in my head telling me the right thing to do, from going to the see the house on the first day, to getting out of the contract for the house I didn't love, to buying the house at auction rather than waiting for it to go to market. Although we had to wait longer than we would have liked for the house to finally go up for sale, the pieces eventually have fallen into place beautifully for us to buy this house.

I will write more later about the foreclosure process, but right now I just wanted to write about the house and post some pictures. Please check out the pictures at our photo site here. The files are too large to upload to blogger--sorry for the extra click.

Tennis Racket

I forgot to mention that the tennis racket that was the star of the previous post was given to us by our extremely generous and gracious neighbors on Trestle Drive, the Soonthornsawads. Thanks guys! We are getting much use out of it!

What a Sport

As many boys his age do, Eli loves sports. He loves them almost to the exclusion of everything else. Golf, basketball, volleyball, tennis; all of which he refers to with enthusiasm as "B Ball!"

I took him to the park last weekend to play on the playground. There were tennis courts very near the playground. He wanted nothing to do with the playground. He would rather sit outside the fence and watch strangers play tennis. He even tried to pick up some game by following people as they exited the courts, trying to steal the rackets from their bags. Eventually I just took him home and then to the courts in our neighborhood to hit some balls. He had a blast, and was actually able to hit some balls bouncing towards him.














Of course, after he got his fill of tennis he proved that he's a regular kid who also likes to hunt for rocks.