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Friday, May 21, 2010

60

Today would be my mom's 60th birthday. Should be. Is. I know parents who have lost a child often wonder what their children would be like as they grow older. Thinking of her at 60 has made me wonder what she would have been like as she got older. Would she be any slower on the tennis court? Would she have more wrinkles? Would she ever let her hair go gray? Would she start dressing like she was 60 (instead of the perpetual 35 she seemed to be?) My mom never seemed as old as she was, so it is very hard to imagine her really getting old. Her heart was youthful, no matter her age. Much like my Grandma Wimmers. I can picture her being a lot like my Grandma Wimmers if she had gotten to grow old. She would have fallen right in love with her new role as Grandma.

I wonder what kind of party we would have had today. Maybe I would have missed it, as I missed her 50th. Until she got cancer I took those types of things for granted. Maybe she would have spent it at the beach with me and Eli. Maybe we would have taken a trip somewhere. I will never know. I just know that whatever it is we would have done, I wish we were doing it. So much.

11 comments:

Coffee Please!?! said...

oh man. i feel for you. hoping that you get through today with only happy memories of your mom ... i feel the same way about missing my dad!

Catpad said...

i know it's hard.. but you have to be strong and don not be sad because i'm sure that your mom is in a better place !

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zxThaiTrixz said...

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Your acne you will join and support their best
together to protect the earth loved you right now

Anonymous said...

Andrea,
Just looking on your blog since I have not seen you for a while and re-read this one about your mom's birthday. I have new thoughts about it now. I was imagining what would have happened on that day. Your dad would have thrown a big party for her 60th. You know how your mom LOVED parties especially celebrathing things like birthdays. I do remember that 50th party. She was so surprised although she was expecting it but then doubted it because Jim was so laid back about the day. There would have been vacationing at a beautiful spot out in the world somewhere. And of course there would be time with Eli, you and Chris. I think of your mom often, very often. Especially when we get together at their house and she is not there. I think of my own mom often, as I pass the house every day. I tell others about how you all sat on the little porch and counted cars, each had a color to count. Keep your mom's memory alive in telling others about her.
Love and prayers, MA

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joven said...

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CindyS said...

I hope that you will be okay. I lost my mom to lung cancer not to long okay, I know how it feels to want to know just how things would be. I have children that she loved so much and they were young, when she got sick, she didnt really want to be put in hospic, so I took care of her at home. It was so hard to do that becuse of seeing her go through everthing she had to go through, but the main thing is she was still with us.It hurts everyday seeing her the last time when they zip the bad and took her away, but you know that main thing that I think of now, is she loved us and wanted to be with us on her last days and thought it does hurt I was happy knowing I had my mothers love.So just remember even though she is not there and cant see her grandbaby you know how she was with you and the love she gave you and the main thing is she would have loved the baby just the same. Stay strong and never be sad cause you had your mothers love and always will even now in your heart. Please take care.

jam1991 said...

I know I'm just a random person online, but you're definitely in my prayers! I can't imagine being without my mother!