I was just reading through my mom's blog from 2007. I remember how stressful it all was, finding out about the cancer returning, the small chance that IL2 had of working, finding out that we had to abandon the IL2 and that there would be no cure, worrying about the sutent working, many plane flights to and from Cincinnati...it all seems so long ago. And despite all that stress, what I wouldn't give to put my arms around my mom again. This picture, this day was so hard. It was the day I left my parents in the hospital in Boston after the first and only round of IL2. It was so hard watching mom suffer the side effects of that treatment, but I was so proud of her for how she handled it. I cannot tell you how bad she felt when this photo was taken, but she forced herself to get out of bed to hug me good-bye and even smile for the camera. If you blow the picture up you can see that our eyes are shiny from tears, but we are happy to be together. Lately I've dreamt a lot of my mom, but she's always sick and dying in the dreams. But it is ALWAYS wonderful to see her in a dream. How I wish that it had all been a dream. It still seems that way sometimes.
I don't know why I wanted to repost this picture, or write this post. I wasn't sure which blog to write it in. But I just want everyone to know how very much she is missed. I know that everyone who knew her misses her. Our lives will never be as rich because of her absence. I'm glad I have my little squirmy worm to make me smile.
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